I've just been listening, in a desultory, day-off sort of way, to Women's Hour, where they were having a phone- in on loneliness. Nothing too startling there, perhaps, with all those familiar statistics telling us that more people now live alone than ever before. All sorts of perspectives were represented, with a groundswell of opinion that it wasn't always helpful to be offered companionship solely through networks of those in a similar position . Young mums were adamant that the toddler group wasn't always the answer, while pensioners lamented the narrow client-base of the groups offered to them. One lady suggested that the local council could promote situations in which people were able to encounter diverse ages and backgrounds, to offer mutual companionship and support.
'Sounds like the church', I thought to myself....but neither callers nor "experts" so much as hinted that this might be an issue that the church could engage with. Not even a nod in our direction. That hurt, really....and made me think, too, about how we square the circle of creating an inclusive community while embracing the insights about network society that are so much on the agenda for us. No conclusions, just sadness that we are so clearly missing the mark and failing to reach out even where there is a perceived need.
That was one of my struggles being in a small parish and trying be missional to the local community and its needs. With a small Parish to try and take on an iniatiative to deal with some of the issues your post brings up, is near to impossible...almost. I have tried to get parish memebers to engage in an alternative. To get involved in existing programs in the community. We don't need to claim them as ours, but we can have an influence and be a spiritual presence that seems to be an alternative that alot of folks have forgotten about or ignore.
ReplyDeleteBut I too share in your saddness the christian community/ church is not seen as an option for dealing with loneliness.
True on this side of the pond, as well.
ReplyDelete(deep sadness.)
I kind of wondered if some people might see things your way; hence my title for this post. I do, sadly, realise that too many people have the sort of negative experience of church which you imply. It's not that surprising, given that churches are made up of people..but the huge tragedy is that the failings of church members are dishonouring the Church herself...and by extension the God whose body she is.
ReplyDeleteTime for a bit of sackcloth, methinks.
Dave, yes of course the church should be more than a social support group...but it would be good to think that at least some churches had managed to practice love in action so that they figured on the mental map of sources of friendship and support. There's an awful lot written about the relative priority of believing and belonging...but befriending might seem to be a positive good in itself, no?
ReplyDeleteMost people I meet outside the church, particularly young people, expect the church to be prescriptive and judgemental. How to change that perception is the BIG question.
ReplyDelete