Rhys suggested here that my flight into "prophecy" yesterday evening might have been no more than an exercise in airing my frustrations with the tried and trusteds of the parish...and of course, he's right.My suspicion is that I tend to expect so little of God on a day to day basis that whenever an idea seems particularly compelling in its refusal to lie down and be quiet, I attribute it to Him...specially if it involves putting myself outside my normal "Let's make everybody happy" comfort zone.
So, does feeling decidedly ouch about it afterwards mean that I was indeed cantering off over the horizon on a hobby horse of my own, and God is now reminding me that I ought to listen a little harder,- or is it rather the result of going (obediently?) against my normal placatory tendencies?
I don't expect any definitive answers (though of course it would be extremely exciting if God had told anyone reading this what was really going on) but I guess after 10 years of Reader ministry (in which the congregation simply sat there and purred, bless them, because they were so proud of having "produced" me) I'm aware that this is a new context in which people take my preaching more seriously than ever before. That makes me a bit edgy, really...the scope for disaster is so huge...in proportion to the opportunity, of course. Please, someone remind me that this whole ordination thing was God's idea...It was, wasn't it?