Monday, January 17, 2005

Self indulgent wonderings.

Maggi has been blogging about trying some new things, while steve was musing about some things he used to do, which are no longer part of his life. Between them, they got me thinking (which is no mean achievement on a Monday morning) about how I too have abandoned various things that were once very important parts of me. I had kind of assumed that this was mostly because motherhood is such an overwhelming occupation that it squeezes out almost anything that you don't need to do to stay sane...but clearly this is not the whole story, since maggi is a mum and steve (yes you've guessed...) isn't!

It might be worth rediscovering these lost loves I guess, before I wake up one morning to find the children have left home and I've lost track of any identity beyond my involvement with them, or my equally engaging work. So...what about all those things that used to be an essential part of me?

Singing...for many years this was the most important thing in my life, and I came within a whisker of earning a living through it. A wise singing teacher at Cambridge advised me "If you can imagine yourself doing anything else at all with your life, don't even contemplate a career as a pro musician"...and subsequent events would suggest that he was right,- but nonetheless, I do miss it. Perhaps this should be the year in which I make a real effort to find a regular opportunity for good music making (assuming, of course, that I'm still capable of making good music)

I used to play the cello rather badly but with immense enthusiasm...and having 3 musical children about the place, have often regretted the cavalier way in which I sold my cello at 25 to pay for a wedding. However, a recent visit to the Aladdin's cave which is Vintage Strings to buy a viola for Lucinda's 18th turned into a very exciting shopping spree indeed, as the owner decided that I would be the ideal home for an abandoned and damaged cello he had in stock. Emerging with 2 instruments for approximately the price of 1 had not been part of the plan, but it will be so lovely to have a cello about the place again.

I used to write all the time...but on reflection, I still do. It just takes a different form, but is no less rewarding. Perhaps, then, not all is lost,- though I am less convinced about the wisdom of the current plan that, after a 25 year gap, I should take up riding again, simply to keep the family pony happily exercised until the smallest Fleming has grown into him. Falling off a horse at this stage in life is rather more uncomfortable than it was in my teens...and if I damage myself enough, the other abandoned pursuits may become irrelevant after all.

However, assuming that I survive all these revivals, I wonder what new things I should try this year. There's one very big New Thing due to happen to me in July, but that's in a different league really,- so that still leaves the field open for some other "firsts". Suggestions (of a not too hazardous nature) welcome, though I don't promise to try them all.

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