Saturday, March 06, 2021

Life in all its fulness . Thank you Bex.

I've just "attended" the most amazing funeral - an absolutely joy-filled, hope-filled celebration of a remarkable life. Bex Lewis was loved by so many, because she made the most warm, generous, open gift of herself to everyone whom she encountered. I was one of 370 joining online, friends whom she had scooped up, encouraged, inspired in so many corners of the world. We were blessed to know her, to laugh with her, learn from her - in my case a friendship sustained almost entirely online, with a few forays in to face to face, generally focussed on Greenbelt. As I watched the service on YouTube this afternoon I was struck by how many many online friends and acquaintances were connected to Bex without my realising. There were few corners of the Christian digital world that she hadn't explored and often shaped for the better. She was a pioneer in so many ways - particularly in all things digital. Google Bex Lewis and you'll see what I mean. But over the last year, as she has been #busylivingwithmets, she has been a pioneer of a different kind, one of the first of my peers to walk calmly, faithfully, honestly towards death, "Bexit" as she called it in her conversations with Andrew Graystone It was hard to watch as things got harder for her - but she kept on talking us through her experiences, her reflections, - open about the grim days, gloriously positive on the better ones, though never with false hope. We all knew that stage 4 mets don't reverse, but imagined we would have a bit more time. 
Covid was the rogue card in the pack for her, as for so many other - and that makes me sad and angry too. 
Death IS an outrage. How dare it cut off so much that is good and beautiful and true!

But there's a different perspective, of course. 

It was good to hear Andrew remind us, mong so many other well-chosen words, that all of "this" - cancer, and suffering, and endings, and death, - is NOT part of God's plan... And his words about how to #BeMoreBex will stay with us for a very long time "Embrace the life in all its fullness that Jesus offers. Fill every ounce of your flesh and blood with adventure and generosity just as Bex did. But realise that real life is not limited to space and time. There is a life that goes way beyond atoms, beyond digits, beyond days....beyond death itself. It's measured in love given and received." 

Oh - and afterwards, a few of us met up on FB to exchange verbal hugs and help one another regain our balance. We'd met in that space, in that group, with Bex before - and the friend who launched the call got the FB message "Bex is busy". 
Oh, she WILL be...so busy...being loved and giving love, and shining that luminous smile of hers at the One whose love formed her from the beginning and who now welcomes her most joyously home.

Thank you Bex. You made such a difference.


 Epitaph by Merrit Malloy 

When I die, give what’s left of me away 
To children and old people who wait to die. 
If you need to cry, 
Cry for your brother and sister 
Walking the street beside you. 
And when you need me, 
Put your arms around anyone and 
Give them what you need to give to me. 

I want to leave you something, 
Something better than words or sounds. 
 Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved. 
If you cannot give me away, 
At least let me live in your eyes, 
And not in your mind. 

You can love me most 
By letting hands touch hands, 
And by letting go of Spirits who need to be free. 
 Love does not die, bodies do. 
So, when all that’s left of me is love, 
Give me away.

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