Friday Five; Sacraments... all is holy?

I've not played Friday Five for months, but Sally's questions today played so wonderfully into my experience at "On Fire" that I couldn't resist...

This Friday Five stems from some questions that have been running around my head and heart recently and are squeezing their way out through my blog here and again here

So I'd like to ask you some simple questions about the sacraments:

1. What does the Lord's supper/ Eucharist mean to you?

Pretty much everything!
To know that God loves us so much that He trusts us with Himself in that fragment of bread and sip of wine...to know that as we eat we are transformed by the life of God within us, that this food makes US part of HIM, rather than becoming, like other foods, part of us...

that as we bring our broken, hurting selves to kneel, offering all that we can, we receive in exchange God's own self...

to recognise that as we gather at the altar we do so with the whole Communion of Saints, those "with whom in the Lord Jesus we forever more are one"

2. How important is preparation for this, and what form does it take? 

As a priest in a busy parish, preparation is too often a matter of sorting out crises with the rotas, ensuring that there is someone to act as crucifer, that the intercessor of the day is both present AND aware that Mrs X has died...this means that I come upon the heart of the Sacrament almost unexpectedly...am dependent on the provision of the liturgy to do my preparation for me. Thankfully it does this well (after all, it's what it's designed for) but nonetheless, the difference in the experience when I was able to spend time this past week specifically and consciously preparing was, to put it mildly, mind-blowing.

3. What does baptism mean to you?

For me, baptism is our very first response to the overwhelming love of God in which we live and move and have our being. Sometimes, we seem not to move beyond that first step...but baptism, if you like, gives us a passport that we can present at any time in our lives. Too often in my current context I know that families have no expectation that baptism will change anything in terms of their way of life, that there's almost no chance of my re-encountering the babies I baptise by the dozen  before they turn up 5 years later in Reception class ...and sometimes that makes me anxious. But since Baptism is above all an out-pouring of God's grace, I continue to ignore that anxiety, knowing that it's His gift to those children...and that one day He will enable them to enjoy it.

4. How important is preparation for baptism and what form does it take?

I've a rather schizophrenic approach here. Given the low expectations of most baptism families, I do try hard to help them recognise what a big step this is...we watch a DVD together, I talk about a two-way "contract" and ask them to tell me how the Church can help them to keep their part of the bargain, as a way of fulfilling ours

(People of God, will you welcome this child and uphold her in her new life in Christ?)...but I think that is really just to salve my conscience...I know I'd not refuse baptism to anyone, regardless of lack of preparation, because it is so much about God's action...God's gift...so in the end, preparation becomes irrelevant.

5. A quote/ poem/ song that brings you before God in a sacramental way, and helps you to engage at  a deeper level

Well, surprise, surprise...it's George Herbert again :) This is at the heart of my faith, and at the heart of my Sacramental theology, so I make no apology for returning to it.

  Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,

 Guilty of dust and sin.
 But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack
 From my first entrance in,
 Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
 If I lack'd anything.

 "A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here";
 Love said, "You shall be he."
 "I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,
 I cannot look on thee."
 Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
 "Who made the eyes but I?"

 "Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame
 Go where it doth deserve."
 "And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"
 "My dear, then I will serve."
 "You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat." 

 So I did sit and eat

What a timely Friday Five

After a particularly stressful June, and an amazingly helpful time with my ever-wonderful Spiritual Director, I found myself writing 2 blogs in the space of 12 hours for the first time in months...I remembered how helpful I used to find the process of writing reflectively for this space, the web of wonderful connections that emerged, the fact that most of my best writing is here. And I felt wistful. I spend alot of time on twitter & have new & treasured friends there too - but the medium is utterly different, and I do feel the loss.

But ironically, it was a RevGals tweet that sent me over to look at the Friday Five for the first time in - well, a year possibly....

This was what I read, from my good friend Kathryn - one of those whom I really miss now I no longer spend my free time wandering through my blog reader.

A friend and I were lamenting recently about the good ol' days of blogging and memes. Certainly there are still some very active blogs around our web ring, but the days of the Friday Five getting 50-70+ responses are in the past. We lamented that the Friday Five is the equivalent of the women's guild of RevGalBlogPals.

I am one of those who went from blogging just about daily to periodically at best. Unfortunately, the number I routinely read has gone down as well. What about you?

1) Have your blogging (writing/reading) habits shifted since the days of yore?

Goodness, yes! I used to find time to blog well nigh every day - sometimes more than once. It was a huge part of how I learned in ministry during my curacy, a place to try out ideas, to receive encouragement and challenge, as I explored what it meant to be a priest and a parent, how to balance my own expectations and those of other people with the emerging reality of parish ministry...I loved this blog at its best and am sure that I was a better priest, more alert to God's presence in the everyday, because I was engaged in constant reflection here. 

Then I became an incumbent in two very different but quite challenging parishes. I still look for God's presence in the everyday, but too often I'm galloping through life at such speed that I don't really engage with it. The weight of expectations has increased, as has the need for reticence and circumspection if I am writing about the parish. So, inevitably, my blogging has declined - and as for my reading.....When bloglines, the reader I'd used from 2004, announced it was about to vanish, I wasn't even sure that I needed to find a replacement...I now depended on a tweet to alert me to updates from friends - and so I often missed important news, the minutae of daily life that we'd once shared on our blogs. I can't imagine a return to my former practice - but I'm hoping, with the help of a few wise friends, to engage in some serious rebalancing of my life this year...and I know that, as part of that,  it would be good for me to return to a regular process of reflection here if I can manage it.

2) Do you have some favorites that you miss?

Far too many....Some are still there, but I just don't get time to read them. Some have changed character (rather as this blog has) to become more of an official voice, less a personal journal. Some have gone for good...My friend and colleague HopefulAmphibian was one of the first to vanish, as he moved from curacy to incumbency...On the far side of that same divide, I now understand why....but I still miss his voice, along with many others, here.

3) Are there some blogs you still put in the 'must read' category?

When friends tweet about a blog update, I'll usually try to drop in to catch up - but I barely look at my google reader so I guess that means "no". How sad. Perhaps now is the time to change this...

4) If we gathered at your knee, what would you tell us about those early days of blogging?

I had no idea, when I first began to blog (as I found myself reading and responding to the writing of a small group of Greenbelt friends) that I would ever MEET anyone this way...But in being as honestly myself as I knew how to be, as I explored my first beginnings in ordained ministry, I found frienship, support and my voice as a small time theologian and began to believe that I really WAS the priest whom others seemed to see. Blogging changed my self-understanding and widened my horizons beyond all my wildest dreams. I'm certain that, if I'd not begun to build friendships all over the world, the life-changing trip to India in 2006 would quite simply have looked too frightening to contemplate...And I know that I'd never have crossed the Pond without RevGals reaching out to me, to share in the first Big Event. I guess that means that blogging changed my life...which sounds over dramatic, but is, nonetheless, absolutely true!

5) Do you have a clip or a remembrance of a previous post of yours or someone else's that you remember, you know an oldie but goodie?

This weekend I'll celebrate the 6th anniversary  of my ordination as priest, and on Sunday I'll preside at 10.00 in my lovely valley church, remembering my 1st Mass at St Mary's, on 3rd July 2005. This is what I wrote then...and it remains so true, an inextricable part of who I am

Friday Five: I want to be part of a church that.....

Sally writes

This has been a good week for British Methodism, The Annual Conference has discussed and debated many things and not shied away from some difficult stuff. New Ministers have been Ordained and received into Full Connexion. Add to that the fact that two amazing ladies; Alison Tomlin and Eunice Attwood have taken up their posts as President and Vice-President for 2010/2011- and that they have both inspired us in their speeches and preaching , and you begin to get the picture.

In the Vice- Presidents Address Eunice gave an inspiring account of the type of church she wants to be a part of, almost poetic she said:

I want to be part of a church that is prayer-filled -
A church that is resourced and sustained by the Bible,
A church that can offer hope even in a credit crunch,
A church that can live well with difference and diversity.


I want to be part of a church that welcomes the wealthy, those who have power and influence -
A church that knows how to party and celebrate life,
A church that acknowledges death and speaks boldly of resurrection,
A church that doesn’t pretend to have all the answers but encourages all the questions.

I want to be part of a church that throws parties for prostitutes -
A church that welcomes those who seek asylum,
A church that longs and yearns for justice,
A church that listens to those no-one else wants to listen to.

I want to be part of a church that believes in transformation not preservation -
A church where all who are lost can be found,
A church where people can discover friendship,
A church where every person takes responsibility in sharing the good news.

I want to be part of a church whose hope is placed securely and confidently in the transforming love of God -
A church that engages faith in its communities,
A church that makes and nurtures disciples of Jesus.

A church where the story of God’s love is at the centre.
I want to be part of a church that offers outrageous grace, reckless generosity, transforming love and engaging faith.
This is God’s story Transforming Love: Engaging Faith.

My prayer is that by the power of the Spirit of God at work amongst us, it will increasingly be our story.


I want to be part of that church to, and at the danger of trying to add to such a wonderful litany of dreams/ visions and prayers I wonder which five things would you echo from or add to this. What kind of church do you want to be a part of in the 21st Century?

Simply list the five, and as an added bonus is there a hymn of a Bible passage that you would make your inspiration?

I want to be part of a church that affirms and welcomes the ministry of men and women, straight and gay, in whatever vocation God calls them to...

I want to be part of a church that offers an open table where all may feast on the Bread of Life

I want to be part of a church that understands that she is only true to herself when she forgets herself in reaching out to those who will never come to her

I want to be part of a church that isn't afraid to give sacrificially...a church that knows that there IS enough love to go round

I want to be part of a church that realises that everything with God is whole and holy, that there is no special pleading for those within the walls

In summary, as I've surely said before 

I dream of a church that joins in with God's laughing
as she rocks in her rapture, enjoying her art:
she's glad of her world, in its risking and growing;
‘tis the child she has borne and holds close to her heart.

I dream of at church that joins in with God's weeping
as she crouches, weighed down by the sorrow she sees;
she cries for the hostile, the cold and no-hoping,
for she bears in herself our despair and dis-ease.

I dream of a church that joins in with God's dancing
as she moves like the wind and wave and the fire;
a church that can pick up its skirts, piroutting,
with the steps that can signal God's deepest desire.

I dream of a church that join in with God's loving
as she bends to embrace the unlovely and lost;
a church that can free, by its sharing and daring,
the imprisoned and poor and then shoulder the cost.

God make us a church that joins in with your living
as you cherish and challenge, rein in and release;
a church that is winsome, impassioned, inspiring;
lioness of your justice and lamb of your peace.

Kate Compston

Friday Five: Patience & Persistence

Sally says...

As I write this I can see out over our newly set up veggie plot from my study window. When Tim and I moved here in August last year he set to work clearing the ground, this spring I began planting seeds indoors and out, and now the beds are full of leaf and promise. We have harvested some spinach and lettuce, but still have to wait for the main crops....

Patience is something that sometimes comes easy and sometimes doesn't, in the case of the garden it is easy, I can see the growth and know that waiting will produce good results. With other things patience is more difficult....

Along with looking forward to eating our own veggies, we are also looking forward to seeing four of our children graduate with Bachelors degrees this year, they have worked hard over the three years and stuck at it through some difficult stuff. It would have been easy for them to give up, but they haven't...

Persistence often pays off, but we need to be aware that it sometimes turns into sheer pig headed-ness...

With all that in mind I offer you this Friday Five:

1. Is patience a virtue you possess? If it is then does it come naturally, if not how do you/ did you work at it?

Not remotely.

When doing the "Belbin" test during training, I found that I had practically a negative score as a "Completer/Finisher"...I like instant results, before there has been time for me to be distracted by the next shiny thing just out of sight. 

That said, though I have no patience with projects or things, people are so endlessly beguiling that I have no problem being patient with them.

Except for a certain vicar whom I know too well. Her repeated failures, her stubborn refusal to learn from her own mistakes, makes me snarl and growl with frustration. I know I'm a work in progress - but here, as in the decorating, I want results NOW!

2. Being patient with ourselves can be a huge challenge, we are often our own worst critics; is there anything you need to be patient with yourself with at the moment?

I haver between being over-tolerant of my own inadequacies (I suspect that actually it wouldn't be beyond the bounds of possibility for me to keep the study tidy, get to bed before midnight, and give the dogs a decent walk every day if I were actually to try) and desperately frustrated at my inability to cram quarts of activity into pints of time. I always believe that I CAN fit in 6 impossible things before breakfast and am outraged when this fails to come about...

What I need most is a dual gift: realism about just who I am, and patience as the implications of this come home to roost.

3. Are you the kind of person who can/ will persist with a difficult task? How much of this is personality related?

My best beloved father was one who Never Gave Up on anything (dying of cancer, he prolonged his life by some weeks, I'm certain, because he was determined to finish reading A la recherche de temps perdu in French)...I lack his staying power but it has left a legacy, in that I do find it hard to give up on things, even when it might be best to do so. I DID manage to give up A level German when I realised that I was going to hate every single one of the set texts...but generally, if I have publically committed to something, then I will see it through regardless.

This holds good for real challenges - but in the smaller things - clearing out the garage, creating a flower bed, - I'll be off over the horizon in pursuit of any possible diversion. I'm ENFP to the core!

4. Can you spot when persistence turns into pig-headed-ness, or do you never get there?

Ermmm....See above. I think the jury is still out. Hindsight may make it clearer...

5. Post a song or a poem that chills you out and helps you to re-group, re-focus and carry on?

The slow movement of the Bach Concerto for two violins is so complete in its perfection, it stills me and gives me a glimpse of eternity...at which point, my failure to prepare properly before painting the kitchen becomes rather silly really.

.

Bonus, a picture or a photo that speaks to you of patience or persistence...

Well - if I were designing things, we would all be issued with seven-league boots as standard, so that the goals once recognised could be achieved instantly (but then perhaps I would miss the detours?) Anyway, given that the journey is also worth savouring, and that I know I'm a long way short of being a finished product, I guess I'll make do with this.

Sunday "Friday Five: Faith & Politics"

On Friday, Sally posted this over at RevGals...but I was far too busy drifting around in a state of sleep-deprived emotional exhaustion after a long night watching disappointing results trickling in...Now, however, with my dormant political enthusiasm well and truly awake (whatever the state of the vicar) it feels like a good moment to play...

So what do you think about the mix of faith and politics:

1. Jesus a political figure: discuss...

What is there to discuss? From the moment when Mary celebrated the child in her womb by launching into the Magnificat ("he has put down the mighty from their thrones and lifted up the lowly...He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty"), through the presentation of Jesus's own ministry manifesto

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor, - to heal the broken hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind....to give to those who mourn a garland instead of ashes......" Jesus is not just political, he is revolutionary.

Speaking truth to power has always been part of the gospel imperative - because the brokenness of this world demands change and challenge as we co-operate with God in its transformation.

2. Politics in the pulpit, yes or no and why?

Social politics, - absolutely. Party politics, - pretty much never. There are exceptions to this, of course...If I found myself serving in an area with a tangible BNP presence I would have no hesitation in speaking against that party from the pulpit but generally I think it can be actively unhelpful. When elections are over and done, when a particular issue has been laid to rest, it's really important that priest and people can continue to respect one another, that they can converse without restraint or embarrassment....Party politics tend to disrupt those relationships.

For example, this morning I had a thoroughly amicable conversation with a member of my congregation who, like me, had been up all of Thursday night...He had spent election day working tirelessly for the party of his choice, had attended the vote count and celebrated as the seat was won by his candidate. We both agreed that elections were uniquely exhausting and exhilarating and hoped devoutly that, despite the hung Parliament, we would be glad of more than a few months off before the next one. The thing is, our party political views are diametrically opposed...but though we both knew this, the fact that we had not actually said so enabled us to continue our conversation happily. If I had nailed my party colours to the mast, we would have had to tiptoe round one another cautiously...This felt better.

3.What are your thoughts on the place of prayer in public life...

Hmn. There's a bit drama running here at the moment as the tradition of including prayer at the start of local council meetings has been challenged by the National Secular Society. I'm inclined to feel that "token" prayers, included for the sake of tradition, are probably best discarded...and that the chances of collecting a body of people who want to pray with sincerity, truth and focus in public life are probably limited...so I'd be prepared to let the formulaic prayers slide, I think - but I also think we have a duty to pray for the government. Does that cancel things out?

4.Is there a political figure, Christian or otherwise that you admire for their integrity?

Mahatma Gandhi...always.

"What is your view of western civilisation, Mahatma?" "I think it would be a really good thing".

5.What are your thoughts on tactical voting, e.g. would you vote for one individual/party just to keep another individual/ party form gaining power?

This caused me no end of angst this past week. We had an excellent sitting M.P., for whom I have nothing but admiration...We also had a very distasteful candidate from another party, who seemed certain to win this seat. And we had the party I have long supported, the party whose policies I wholeheartedly approve, but who had precisely no chance of winning here.

After much agonising, considering, researching, I decided against tactical voting, just to keep out the distasteful party....But as a result the excellent sitting MP was ejected, my favoured party having eaten into his support without meaningful gain for themselves.

I don't regret voting according to policy - but, had I known the outcome, I think a spot of tactical voting might have been the answer.

Given the current state of UK government, I may have another opportunity to agonise soon.

Friday Five - Friendship

Friendship

My friend Kathrynzj (with whom I shared a cabin on the very first RevGals Big Event, 2 years ago) is just home from this year's joyous reunion...and writes thus 

I spent the better part of last week on a continuing education cruise with a group of revgals. Both the class on hospitality and the connections made with friends (old and new) were phenomenal. I always have a difficult time with re-entry into reality from times away but this, aided by getting nailed with strep throat, has been more difficult than usual. Not only does it a take a few days (weeks? months?) for it to stop feeling like I am on a boat, but my heart misses my friends.

In parish life the boundaries are clear and they are there for a reason, but it can make the life of a minister a lonely one. It is such a tremendous gift to spend a few days with women who not only are wonderful and gifted, but who also get exactly what you do and why you do it. The hugs are genuine and free and the laughter is awesome.

Many of us have friendships - past and present - with these same qualities. And so today we will celebrate Friday with friendship:

1) Do you remember your first best friend? What did you do together? Are they still in your life?

C. and I met in the sandpit on our first day at school...We were both 4 years old. After a hiatus when we went to different schools, we reconnected in the 6th form and have never looked back. Her parents hosted my 18th birthday party in a wonderful barn conversion her father had just finished...At my 21st birthday party, she met her future husband. She is Godmother to my first born, as I am to hers...who celebrated HIS 21st birthday just this week. We dont see each other often now, as we're some three hours drive apart (which, in the UK, feels like a big deal), but when we do we always pick up exactly where we left off. We have shared so much - birth, death, joy, tears...I love her dearly.

2) Did you ever have to move away or have your best friend move away from you?

We were a fairly stable community growing up...S my other best friend, who felt more like a sister, went away to boarding school when I was 8 - I remember being supposed to be happy that she had won a place at the school she needed to attend,and just wanting to cry and cry because she would be going away and nothing would ever be the same again. As it happens, I was wrong...some friendships transcend even boarding school!

3) Are there people in your life now that you can call 'friend'?

Thanks be to God, there are indeed. I'm blessed with many wonderful women, (and some no less wonderful men)  many (though not all of them) clergy - because, you see, this is a VERY odd way to spend your life, and it does help if those whom you spend time with have some understanding of its many peculiarities. I have friends from the last parish who are now allowed to be proper friends, as the muddy waters have retreated...I even have one friend just across the road. But I am so exceedingly extrovert that I really need all of them - and can still feel quite forlorn and out on a limb occasionally. Having people about with whom it's safe to both laugh and cry without reserve is really important...Learning to make sure I spend time with my friends doing just that is something I'm working on this year...

4) What are some of your favorite things to do with your friends?

Walk with the dogs and talk as we go

Enjoy a curry and talk as we go

Share a bottle of red wine as the rain beats down and ......yes....that's the one

5) What is a gift friendship has given you?

The confidence to believe that I am loveable...None of the beloved people I call "friend" has any obligation to seek me out and spend time with me...that they do so, for no good reason beyond the fact that they want to, makes my world a shiney place.

Pack your Bags Friday Five

I'm preparing to pack my bags for the Big Event Three, and as I gather what I need I'm thinking about just that: what do I *need* to take with me? As a person who likes to pack light, I worry that in the end I may underpack and wish I had other things with me.  I own the gigantor version of the bag to the right, but my morbid fear of having it go astray and not get to the ship means I'm more likely to try to pack it all in a carry-on bag instead, especially since I have a very tight connection on the way to the cruise. But won't I be sorry if I don't bring _______________?

Thus writes my dear friend Songbird, who is about to set forth on the third RevGals BE...Can it really be 2 years since we embarked on the first one? That seems incredible in itself, without the added realisation that I've not used my posh suitcase, brought for the event and with Serious Travelling in mind, even once since. Holidays on Polyphony are only notionally concerned with the contents of the suitcase...the boat is very much home from home, and every bit as scruffy as the vicarage on a bad Sunday night, so packing has a rather different feel. But there was so much hope and excitement represented when I purchased my lovely pink suitcase...so I couldn't bear to miss out on the game....Here are Songbird's questions.

1) Some fold, some roll and some simply fling into the bag. What's your technique for packing clothes?
Does anyone need to ask? Do I sound like a careful packer?? Everything is flung in as best I can, then I generally sit on the lot to ensure that extra things can be accommodated...Don't know what I'd do if I were ever to go somewhere where formal wear was required at it would undoubtedly arrive resembling a dishcloth collection (it could be a problem even at home, actually...the only hint of a professional wardrobe is the presence of clergy shirts, and some of those are t shirt type)

2) The tight regulations about carrying liquids on planes makes packing complicated. What might we find in your quart-size bag? Ever lose a liquid that was too big?
Contact lens fluid is the issue for me...Last time I flew I was only using glasses, but now I'm back to a contact lens there might be all sorts of  issues arising. I've always TRIED to travel light, though, so quantities of liquid have never been on the agenda.

3) What's something you can't imagine leaving at home?
My beloved Nokia N97. Sad, isn't it. Once upon a time I would have said a journal and pens...and they still matter but.........connection is all!

4) Do you have a bag with wheels?
Said pink suitcase does indeed have wheels...and I was v grateful as I negotiated my way across America 2 years ago..and even more grateful as we trekked towards the ferry terminal in New Orleans. I also have a smaller, overnight sized, wheelie case which my m-i-l gave me some years ago, clearly hoping that sensible luggage might have an impact on the relative sense of her son's wife. Bit of a failure, that...

5) What's your favorite reading material for a non-driving trip (plane, train, bus, ship)?
Pretty much anything! I love that there's no possible guilt-factor in spending the journey time reading, though I do fret about running out of print...Clearly books need to be light in weight, but not necessarily in content. Coming home from BE1 I read all the Ann Lamott's that NOLA airport could supply, as I knew they'd be harder to find here. I do read alarmingly fast, so it's hopeless to try and take enough reading matter with me...thus I prefer to take books I won't miss if I have to discard them in order to have something fresh to read later on the journey. Can't remember what I actually took with me when I headed out 2 years ago, but suspect I left it on the ship, whatever it was..I try to read an English language newspaper from the country I'm visiting too - the Times of India was a regular delight during my time there...

Friday Five: Happy Lent

Sophia invited RevGals to explore the season ...
Each year you give us this joyful season when we prepare to celebrate the Paschal Mystery with mind and heart renewed. You give us a spirit of loving reverence for you, our [Mother]/Father, and of willing service to our neighbor. As we recall the great events that gave us new life in Christ, you bring the image of your Son to perfection within us.... (First Preface for Lent, Roman Missal)

1. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras/Shrove Tuesday this year? Any memories of memorable celebrations past?

We did indeed. Twice! During the week it's just The Dufflepud and me at home, and he was planning to be out with friends on Tuesday so we thought we'd have our pre-Lenten binge on Monday...Many a pancake, both savoury (mushroom & spinach, with cheese - sheer bliss) and sweet, a glass or two of FairTrade chardonnay and the last of the chocolates won in a recent raffle.

BUT we made enough batter for him to take with him to pancake party the following day -which he sadly left behind, so in the spirit of "waste not want not" we had a late night pancake snack all over again on Tuesday.

Don't even mention calories!

Meanwhile, I also observed Shrove Tuesday with a wonderful reminder that God sees our aspirations as well as our failures and loves us through them...As I posted below, I  find the process of confession, the time looking hard at myself and all that lies therein extremely hard and painful work; the process of naming my sins aloud is excruciating but the response - the perspectives, the wisdom, the assurance that "Jesus gets it" and that I am loved and forgiven "those things of which my conscience is afraid" is worth every second. I know that I have the opportunity to hear and experience God's forgiveness Sunday by Sunday - but in the busyness of leading worship it's not always easy to enter deeply into consciousness of sins and thus to really let them go and rejoice in freedom. The sacrament of reconciliation allows that - with trumpets!

I always emerge wanting to sing "And Can It Be?" at the top of my voice - though given the surroundings of a Cathedral Quiet Day, I have thus far resisted!

In my experience parish pancake parties are sometimes just a bit (awful wordplay alert) flat- though I loved the pre Lenten pancake extravaganzas with the youth group in my training parish.Valley church hall is used on Tuesday evenings, so I don't feel a pressure to stage pancake parties here and am happy to keep to an in house celebration!

2. How about Ash Wednesday, past and/or present?

My first Ash Wednesday after leaving university, I was just beginning to make my home at St John the Divine, Kennington, a church whose wonders I've celebrated on the blog before. Having spent my Cambridge years batting from Kings to Johns in an attempt to hear the Allegri sung twice in one day I was more than stunned to be asked to do the high soprano solo myself...No idea how well it went (I had a nightmare cold but was given some amazing elixir just before singing that cleared my throat sufficiently to make top Cs possible) the privilege of being able to sing those notes for a faith community that I was coming to love was, I think, an early step in the journey to ordination. I love Ash Wednesday, and have blogged about it every year I've been writing here. The two trips to the altar rail, to be marked with the sign of our mortality and then fed with the food of eternity make the Ash Wednesday liturgy so very powerful always.

3. Does your denomination or congregation celebrate "this joyful season"? Any special emphases or practices to share?

Not sure it's an occasion for joy, exactly, but we do have a Lent course running! (in fact it's all about welcome, so should be pretty joyful on reflection).As we move into Passiontide there will be more opportunities for reflective worship beyond our usual diet, the school trail and a whole lot more. The Lent leaflet (which was actually produced on time) carries details of everything we'll attempt...and yes, I did abandon all sorts of other ideas...I'm really not trying to do everything. Not ALL at once!

We are, of course, bare of flowers, and the high altar at Church in the Valley is stipped to its beautiful wooden bones.It's a large church building, so it's possible that people might not actually notice these differences - there's less liturgical awareness than I'm used to - but I'd hope that the cumulative effect might speak of something!

4. Do you have a personal plan of give-ups, take-ons, special ministries, and/or a special focus for your own spiritual growth between now and Easter?

The one discipline my SpirDir suggested was a daily walk with the dogs - space, stillness & exercise all in one. I'm abstaining from all the usuals (wine, chocolate, dairy products) too if I can - not really as a spiritual practice except in so far as caring for my body is a spiritual practice, and mine has never recovered from the 2 months of grumpy inactivity and chocolate compensation produced by last year's broken arm! 

I'm working on a few minutes of worthwhile reading daily, too, but am sitting light to these add-ons.

My ongoing struggle is with personal realism, -which includes manageable Lenten goals.

So, that's dog walking, then! 

5. What is your dream for the image of Christ coming to perfection in you, the church, the world? How can we support you in prayer?

Goodness. Big question to come across suddenly in the middle of a Friday Five, and one that deserves more time than I'm able or willing to give it right now..In one way it's quite simple, summed up by dear St Richard of Chichester

"May we know you more clearly, love you more dearly and follow you more nearly day by day".

If that were only true - for the me and for the churches I serve...then we might live our baptism commission "To shine as lights in the world to the glory of God the Father".

For me to know God more clearly would mean, of course, setting aside the need to ACHIEVE for Him...To sit still and be loved...Last week at Llannerchwen I remembered that if I want to reflect the image of Christ, I need to be more like a pool of water than like a mountain stream. I could pray round that, couldn't I?

Already blogged my definitive Lenten music and won't try to improve on perfection. I'll just listen to it once again, before engaging with the day!

Friday Five - Trains and boats and planes...

Songbird was off on an adventure in the Big City, and left us with a traveller's Friday Five....

1) What was the mode of transit for your last trip?

Yesterday boasted a lovely drive through Wales, so beautiful even (or perhaps specially) in the rain, as the greens and browns ran into each other, with the occasional patch of white where last week's snow lingered on the hilltops. I'm so comfortable driving my Citroen C3 - and very conscious of this after the two weeks of borrowed wheels last year. Journeys in Clouseau are a pleasure, specially with my darling Hattie Gandhi for company - and Hay-on-Wye as a destination.

2) Have you ever traveled by train?

When I was growing up in sleepy Sussex the train was the standard mode of transport for anyone going out of town...The train to London, - and the pleasure of coming home laden with bags after a successful shopping session; as a 6th former  the daily train to school half an hour along the coast...As a single student travelling with cat and instruments, and then as a mum who always travelled with her children trains faded into the background for a few decades but I live within sound of the railway line again, and the train means trips to London, and the adventures of the city.

3) Do you live in a place with public transit, and if so, do you use it?

There is a bus stop immediately outside my door, but I don't tend to use busses...If I'm going in to town, it will be a quick dash for something essential, and waiting for the bus turns turns a half hour round trip into something more substantial.If I have time for the bus, then I prefer to walk. Trains, though, are another matter (see above)

4) What's the most unusual vehicle in which you've ever traveled?

Ummm...Not so much the vehicle, but the context. Bus rides in India are unlike anything I have experienced elsewhere. I never learned to take for granted the ride in from Channapatna to Bangalore, with every available corner crammed with colourful chattering humanity - and of course another contingent of intrepid travellers on the roof...but the journey I remember above all was in a more conventional coach (albeit one whose air conditioning was legendary rather than operative), the several hundred miles from Bangalore to Kanyakumari. I've blogged it before, so will just say that a 24 hour journey with a driver whose main technique was to "honk and hope", over roads that enjoyed playing hide and seek with incautious travellers, and a collective of Indian clergy who were inseparable from mobiles that rang with hymn tunes day and night was utterly unforgettable.

You see, it's really not the vehicle...

5) What's the next trip you're planning to take?

After a difficult year, with some major repairs and more time out of the water than in it, I'm really looking forward to several cruises on the narrowboat Polyphony once spring arrives. I have a post Easter break marked in the diary already and will enjoy reverting to life at 4 mph.

Fresh Starts and Covenants - a New Year Friday Five

Sally of the RevGals writes thus:

We stand at the beginning of 2010 looking not only at a New Year, but at a new decade full of promise and possibilities. For some of us this will be exciting, but others will approach it with trepidation and probably most of us stand on this threshold with a mix of emotions and reactions.

It is at this time of year that many (British) Methodist Churches celebrate their Annual Covenant Service, a service that will include this prayer:

I am no longer my own but yours,
Put me to what you will,
rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing,
put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you,
or laid aside for you,
exalted for you,
or brought low for you;
let me be full,
let me be empty,
let me have all things,
let me have nothing:
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now glorious and blessed God,
Father , Son and Holy Spirit,
you are mine and I am yours.
May it be so forever.
Let this covenant now made on earth
be fulfilled in heaven. AMEN

This prayer is said every year, and offers every member an opportunity to renew their covenant with God. This is no soft or easy prayer, it states in the company of others our willingness to worship God come what may, not that we should become doormats, but that we place God above all else. ( And every year if we are honest we have to acknowledge that we fail).

With this prayer in mind I bring you this Friday Five:


1. What will you gladly leave behind in 2009?

The diary that was in charge of me...This year will be the one in which I am in charge of the diary. I have a red pen and a steely resolve - I too nearly came unstuck, close to vanishing under mountains of self-inflicted overwork at points last autumn,  and I'd have only myself to blame if that came to pass.

But I can say No.

Even to things to which I believe I should say Yes.

And if I do, I might just survive long enough to be useful.

2. What is the biggest challenge of 2010 for you?

Sitting light to the tyranny of the immediate and learning to tell people when they aren't pulling their weight, rather than simply taking up their slack myself.

3. Is there anything that you simply need to hand to God and say "all will be well, for you are with me"?

One decision in particular which seems to be between "bad" and "not good"...even not making it is fraught with difficulties.

4. If you could only achieve one thing in 2010 what would it be?

Letting go of the need to achieve...

5. Post a picture, poem or song that sums up your prayer for the year ahead....

Lord, teach me to live today.

Help me to see that love and holiness have dirty feet

through dancing joyfully about the earth, hands joined in yours.

That life with you is whole and holy;

That everything I do

can bear your imprint

can be coloured by your love. 

(Eddie Askew, from "Breaking the Rules" pub The Leprosy Mission, 1992)

Signs of the Kingdom, Signs of the Times: "Soon and very soon..."

You might have gathered that I'm a bit stuck with pre-festival deskyness, at the moment - so it's been a bit harder to raise my eyes and notice signs this past week. However, the Friday Five Over at RevGals was a gift for the series... Sophia offers what she describes as " another very simple Friday Five in honor of the past, present, and eschatological dimensions of this powerful season of the church year....

Please share five ways that God has come to you (your family or friends, your church or workplace, our world) in the past year, that God is coming to you right now, and/or that you are longing and looking for God to come."

• as always God has come to me very directly and powerfully through the ministry of children. In this Year of the Child they have been central to so many glimpses of the kingdom, from their dancing with the Holy Spirit at our wonderful Pentecost service to their unexpected, unintended wisdom offered again and again at school assemblies and at Messy Church. For me, the child as model of the Kingdom is unerringly effective.

• through the slow growth in relationships around Messy Church. For me it's represented by the gift of ice-cream for 40 from one mum who can ill-afford it, and by the way that one young man has appeared, rain or shine, to help in whatever way we need - from moving tables to making Christingles, with a host of other kindness in between. These are people whom I didn't know at all when the year began, and I thank God for them, and for all that they represent.

• the boundless energy and joy of Libby the retriever when I let her off the lead at the start of a walk in the woods or on the common. She is utterly present in the moment, delighted by everything that it brings - and the unconditional love with which she greets any and everyone whom she encounters is positively inspiring (til she rolls in something indescribable, of course...but that's what seeing "in a glass darkly" is all about!)
  

•  new friendships, born here online, with people who've been just exactly the people I've needed, with the particular gifts, insights and inspiration to transform some difficult times this year...those who have said to me "Here is the way, - walk in it".

• a dream hatched at a planning meeting just this week.The group gathered to discuss our contribution to a deanery-wide mission happening next autumn, - a one-off event designed to encourage people to "Think Twice" about life and faith. By the time we went home we were looking at something far more radical, something that might, with God's help, really make a difference in this community, even if nobody ever joins the church as a result...God so loved the world, - right?
  

Friday Five - Do Nothing edition

Sally has been reading Stephen Cottrell's "Do nothing - Christmas is Coming!" and this has inspired her Friday Five

Five things you won't be doing to prepare for Christmas.

1. This Christmas I won't be stressing to plan the perfect menu for all and sundry. We will get some tasty food in, but I refuse to accept that this is The Meal of the Year, - and am not going to follow Delia, Jamie or anyone else....We will cook and eat as best we can, and refuse to stress.

2.I won't be sending a letter listing the achievements and excitements of the family...The children are way too old for this to feel comfortable, - and as I think it's pretty dull to receive a card sans letter, and simply can't write individual letters to all 200 odd who WERE on my Christmas card list, I guess that means very few cards this year either. Will try to create an e card using one of my own photos, as I don't want NOT to connect with absent friends, but the fury of card writing feels inappropriate in its use of time and of the earth's resources too.

3.I'll also avoid buying pointless presents for those who need little. If I REALLY have no idea what might be appreciated, then I'll invest in a goat from Present Aid and I very much hope that my congregation will adopt a similar approach and donate to CA instead of sending cards across the church family.

4.This means I WONT be shopping at Christmas Craft Fayres, and have already (and happily) not ventured into Stroud for "Goodwill Evening" tonight.

5. Number 5 is more of a hope than a guaranteed goal, but I trust that this year I will not be telling myself that the happiness or otherwise of the whole family's Christmas depends on me...I love my children and will rejoice in spending time with them, but I can't be responsible for every aspect of their lives and attitudes. Either the mixture that we create will work and leave us happy, or it won't...but (please note), come what may it WONT ALL BE MY FAULT!

For a bonus, Sally asks for a favourite Advent carol...I'm not sure if this qualifies, but in its simplicity (and in the image of Christ the apple tree, which just IS, from the beginning........) it represents the sort of Christmas I would wish to prepare.

For happiness I long have sought

And pleasure dearly I have bought.

I missed of all, but now I see

Tis found in Christ the Apple Tree.

What sweeter music...a Friday Five

My lovely friend Songbird posted this over at RevGals, and in my current weary state it's absolutely spot on, because nothing, NOTHING, restores and consoles like music. Ever.

When I was a very little girl growing up in Virginia, I never missed a Sunday going to Court Street Baptist Church. But there was something else that made Sundays special, and that was "Davey and Goliath." Every week the opening strains of the theme song would find me lying on the floor, chin on hands, looking up expectantly to watch the adventures of a clay boy and his big dog.

What I didn't realize was who wrote that music, the hymn "A Mighty Fortress is Our God."

It was the same Martin Luther who said:

"I have no use for cranks who despise music, because it is a gift of God. Music drives away the Devil and makes people gay; they forget thereby all wrath, unchastity, arrogance, and the like. Next after theology, I give to music the highest place and the greatest honor."
On this Friday before Reformation Sunday, let's talk about music. Share with us five pieces of music that draw you closer to the Divine, that elevate your mood or take you to your happy place. They might be sung or instrumental, ancient or modern, sacred or popular...whatever touches you.


I spent last night watching with a dear faithful soul, whose earthly pilgrimage is nearly done. As I prayed and thought and prayed some more, my internal soundtrack was Elgar's Dream of Gerontius and "Faire is the Heaven" by William Harris. Both open windows onto the divine in a way that made it easy to visualise her journey home.

Bach - always, always Bach...to restore my sense of meaning and purpose perhaps the Goldberg Variations, or the Largo from the Concerto for 2 Violins....
to express the overwhelming joy of being loved by the God who gives life,
Et Resurrexit from the B Minor Mass...


The first LP (oh how that dates me) I ever bought was Jacqueline du Pres playing the Haydn C Major Cello Concerto. I'm not sure whether I was more in love with the music or the musician at that point, but the work travelled with me to make every house, every student room, and still, every clergy study, a home. It's always part of the way I connect myself with a new environment.

Perfection in worship- Tallis "If ye love me" I've loved this since I first sang it with the Hasting Youth Choir when I was 14. It was the introit at my 1st Mass and never fails to make all things well in my world.

Songbird mentions hymns - again I'll turn to my 1st Mass as a guide to my "2non- negotiable, make-everything-better-at-a-stroke" list
"All my hope on God is founded"(tune by beloved Herbert Howells, whose "Like as the hart" would be in this list if I weren't trying to at least nod in the direction of the "Friday Five" game)
"Eternal Ruler of the Ceaseless Round" (thank you, God, for the music of Orlando Gibbons...How could I fail to mention "This is the record of John"...? Truly fantastic piece!)
"O thou who camest from above" (a "here I stand, I can do no other" expression of my longings in ministry)
"And can it be" - singing it makes it true....
"My chains fell off, my heart was free
I rose, went forth and followed thee.
No condemnation now I dread,
Jesus and all in Him is mine.."

Oh my dears, having had a lovely time hunting those around the internet, I'm now ready to go to bed with a deeply contented smile on my face.
I hope that connecting with your best beloved musical treasures has brought you joy too.

Touching holiness Friday Five

Sally has joined the crowds venerating Therese of Lisieux (whose relics are currently on a kind of royal progress around the UK) and moved on to consider other brushes with the transcendent and holy...She asks

How about you, where do you find God's peace and presence, is there:

1. A place that holds a special memory?
The wonderful chapel of Our Lady at Llan, the retreat house in the Shropshire hills which was my favourite spiritual bolt-hole during training and curacy...With its long windows looking out over the valley, beautifully simple furniture and the presence of the Sacrament, it was somewhere that I never failed to encounter God...Llan was very much a "thin" place. On arrival, I would always go down to touch the trunk of the great tree I could see from the windows of the little sitting room in the guest wing, and as I did so, would know myself safe home.
The house closed 2 years ago, and I've yet to establish that same sort of connection. Perhaps I needed a reminder that such things are only for a season - though I know that my recent lack of retreat has more than a little to do with the nagging feeling "It won't be the same without Llan".
Of course it won't, nor should it be - but the memories are indeed special.


2. A song that seems to usher you into the Holy of Holies?
There are so many I could list, it's almost impossible to choose one. My faith became real for me as I sang my way through innumberable Evensongs as a Cambridge chorister...I guess William Harris "Faire is the heavene" might be The One - but what about Palestrina "Sicut Cervus" ? or Victoria "O Quam Gloriosam..."? or...?or...?

3.A book/ poem/ prayer that says what you cannot?
When I run out of words the psalms make all the difference, and I thank God that in the Daily Office I get to pray them regularly...and to supplement, or confirm the truth that I know, - George Herbert. Always and completely.
"You must sit down", said Love, "and taste my meat"
So I did sit and eat"

4. How do you remind yourself of these things at times when God seems far away?
I think the answer to that lies in the answers to the previous questions...And a walk in the hills too.

5.Post a picture/ poem or song that speaks of where you are right now in your relationship with God...
Well now, if I knew that....[will try and get back to you on this one]

Dreams for the church

At the moment, you don't have to look too far to find evidence of all sorts of unhappiness within that part of the Body of Christ that is the Anglican Communion (though as always, even as I prepare to wring my hands and consider despair, there's fresh evidence of God at work and I wonder how I dared to question...) so yesterday's Friday Five, which was all about the five marks of a perfect church, would have been distinctly apposite. However, I can't dream church dreams without hearing the words of others...the first a posting from WATCH a couple of years ago and the second from the ever wonderful Kate Compston. I certainly can't improve on these - and they are very much my dreams too.

I'm dreaming
about a church of sensitivity and openness,
a church of healing and welcome.
I'm dreaming about a community of friends
that celebrates differences and diversity and variety,
a community that is forgiving, cherishing, wide open.

I dream of women and men
who minister life and laughter and love;
of men and women who minister healing and harmony and hope;
of women and men who minister to each other
and minister to the crying needs of a world that hurts.

I dream against the rough climb still to come,
against expectation, against pessimism and despair;
I dream, I dream of the clear panorama
of the vision of light right at the top of the mountain.










I dream of a church that joins in with God's laughing
as she rocks in her rapture, enjoying her art:
she's glad of her world, in its risking and growing;
‘tis the child she has borne and holds close to her heart.

I dream of at church that joins in with God's weeping
as she crouches, weighed down by the sorrow she sees;
she cries for the hostile, the cold and no-hoping,
for she bears in herself our despair and dis-ease.

I dream of a church that joins in with God's dancing
as she moves like the wind and wave and the fire;
a church that can pick up its skirts, piroutting,
with the steps that can signal God's deepest desire.

I dream of a church that join in with God's loving
as she bends to embrace the unlovely and lost;
a church that can free, by its sharing and daring,
the imprisoned and poor and then shoulder the cost.

God make us a church that joins in with your living
as you cherish and challenge, rein in and release;
a church that is winsome, impassioned, inspiring;
lioness of your justice and lamb of your peace.

But of course dreams are of very limited value if they remain simply that.I'm in optimistic vein tonight, after some experiences of church that fit rather wonderfully with the dream - so I'm off to do some praying now, recognising that work may well be part of the package too...

Friday Five...music edition

Mary Beth invites us to ponder:
The sad news of Michael Jackson's untimely death has me thinking about music and its effects on us - individually, as cultures, as generations. Let's think about the soundtracks of our lives...

1) What sort of music did you listen to as a child - this would likely have been determined or influenced by your parents? Or perhaps your family wasn't musical...was the news the background? the radio? Singing around the piano?
My very earliest memories are of music - the sound of the Morning Concert on Radio 3 waking me to begin the day (my father turned on the radio as he prepared breakfast in bed for my semi-invalid mother) or piano music seeping through the wall that separated my bedroom from the sitting room as he played to unwind at the day's end.
Favourites were Mendelssohn Songs without Words, or Chopin waltzes .... or perhaps a piano arrangement of Grieg's Peer Gynt Suite. When I was about 4 one of my most favourite games of all was to dress up in some long petticoats, relics of my mother's dancing years, and whirl around the sitting room to Anitra's Dance. I sang before I talked, and Daddy was happy to play folksongs again and again for me. Some forebear of my mother's (I never quite worked out who) had been a kind of Scottish equivalent of Cecil Sharpe, collecting folksongs in Highlands and Islands, - and the one I loved singing best was Ho ro, my nut brown maiden. I'd not thought of it for years til this meme jogged my memory. Thank you, Mary Beth...glad to be reminded :-) )

2) Going ahead to teenage years, is there a song that says "high school" (or whatever it might've been called where you lived) to you?
I was a pretty intense classical music geek through my teens, but around about my 18th birthday I loved, loved, loved dancing to the Patti Smith single
"Because the night..." and that song is a backdrop to the complicated set of memories of that final summer at school. In my Oxbridge term I shared a room with a girl who loved Judy Collins, so she too is part of my memories of that era. My own music collection was entirely classical, though: I nearly missed an A level exam as I pondered how to spend a birthday record token...should it be Vaughan Williams' Fantasia on a Theme of Thomas Tallis? or The Lark Ascending? (somehow I ended up both, though I've no idea how that was achieved in those pre-credit-card days...Maybe I used my train fare home?)

3) What is your favorite music for a lift on a down day? (hint: go to www.pandora.com and type in a performer/composer...see what you come up with!)
Pandora will only play nicely with US citizens, so I'll just say Bach, Bach and Bach again...He is pretty much the answer to any question, in my experience, and I've never been so miserable that his music makes no difference.

4) Who is your favorite performer of all time?
Oh...WHAT an impossible question. How do I choose between Jacqueline du Pre and Emma Kirkby? Between Ian Bostridge and Pablo Casals? Artur Rubenstein?
Menuhin in his prime? I just can't. I am grateful to them all, and so very many others.

5) What is your favorite style of music for worship?
I guess I'm Cathedral choral tradition to the bones. For the Eucharist let's have perhaps the Mozart Coronation Mass, or maybe Byrd for Five Voices. At Evensong, Gibbons Short Service is hard to beat...And psalms sung well to Anglican Chant are a short-cut to heaven.
But back in the real world, really pretty much whatever my congregation will sing with conviction works for me.

Life is a verb

An irresistible Friday Five posted by Jan, in response to this book

Patti Digh worked her book around these topics concerning life as a verb:

• Say yes.
• Be generous.
• Speak up.
• Love more.
• Trust yourself.
• Slow down.

This book has been the jumping off point for this Friday.

1. What awakens you to the present moment? The physical...The feeling of fresh air on my face as I stand at the bedroom window at the beginning of the day, the warmth of the pup's head on my knee as I sprawl on the sofa at its end, thirst quenched by cold water, sadness comforted by a hug.

2. What are 5 things you see out your window right now?
Open gates onto the road, busy with homeward traffic this Friday evening
The line of trees that is the vicarage landmark for visitors
A jack russell taking his owner for an evening walk
Teenagers waiting at the bus stop opposite
Oooooh.........
and a small silver Fiat containing Hattie Gandhi. She's home for the night! Squeee...


(returning much later)
3. Which verbs describe your experience of God?
Loving, challenging, exciting, delighting, renewing

4. From the book on p. 197:
Who were you when you were 13? Where did that kid go?
At 13 I was over responsible and over anxious...My mother had had heart surgery the year before, after many years of poor health, and I believed that her well-being depended on my being a "good girl" (though this obligation was one I laid entirely on myself: my parents were keen to let me be a child for as long as possible - and back in the 1970s, the early teens carried no veneer of sophistication to confuse the issue). As an only child, I knew that not only was I probably the centre of the universe, but it was all up to me,and it (whatever it was) was probably all my fault. Who else was there?
But I escaped my self-imposed burdens through books, through music, through writing endlessly.
Where did that kid go? Somewhere around my 40th birthday I realised that actually it didn't all depend on me...even the children who were my responsibility were also repsonsible for themselves. I threw away the anxieties (mostly), but books, music, writing are still a refuge and a joy.

5. From the book on p. 88: If your work were the answer to a question, what would the question be?
What makes you get up in the morning and sing as you walk down the road?

Bonus idea for you here or on your own--from the book on p. 149: "Go outside. Walk slowly forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. It might be an idea, it might be an object. Name it. Set it aside. Walk forward. Open your hand and let something fall into it from the sky. Name it. Set it aside. Repeat. . . ."
How beautiful. I've always always loved the Advent Prose "Rorate coeli" - drop down ye heavens from above and let the skies pour down righteousness" Righteousness, peace, reconciliation ........but I love walking outside, so there is more
I have to catch a star - of course I do. I've wanted to for always...to hold that gleaming miracle, its light leaking out from between my fingers. Then comes self-confidence - something to use myself and then pass on to some much beloved people who cannot recognise their own shininess.
Finally, a golden apple. In a world where treasures might fall from the sky, I return to the ancient myths that provided a longing backdrop to childhood imaginings...