You live and learn

Once upon a time, when I was Readering in a rural benefice in the Cotswolds, I have to admit that I was distinctly sniffy about "C and E" worshippers.

They, of course, are those who attend their parish church regularly - once or twice a year..

Perhaps it's Christmas and Easter, or maybe Mothering Sunday and Remembrance, or even (randomly) Palm Sunday (because of the donkey??) and Christingle...

They probably describe themselves as ""C of E on forms, identify the church and its priest as "theirs" but otherwise ignore all that goes on there through most of the year.

From the lofty superiority of a Licensed Ministry I felt qualified to cast all sorts of nasturtiums at "people like that"...

Now, as a real live vicar, it's startling how different I feel.

As I stood shaking hands at the door after Midnight Mass I was (and am still) genuinely delighted at the number of people who joined us for worship that night.

Families I knew through weddings or funerals, faces familiar from dog walks in the park or conversations at the Co-op, people whom I'd never encountered inside the church before.. but all apparently feeling thoroughly welcome, even at home in their parish church.

Those who stopped to talk said that they felt that they'd been doing something important...had touched base with something of value

Some even emailed me to say so

We really enjoyed the Mass of the Nativity on Christmas eve  gave us the opportunity to reflect and we both left feeling really positive. 

Positive feedback! How often does THAT happen in parish life?

If the church exists to serve those who are not yet members, then the same is true a thousand-fold for the clergy. Living as we do in the kind of interesting times that throw the whole nature of the parish system into doubt, and recognising that there are only so many ways to configure the deck-chairs on the Titanic, it's hard to know what to do with this.

At present my parishes, even working together, are only able to pay a little less than 2/3 of the cost of my ministry (and that's before you even consider the 2 NSM curates who work with me here).

We may be growing in faith, hope and love (I truly believe we are), our links with the local schools are stronger and healthier than ever, and there is a general warmth towards the church in the wider community that I couldn't put a price on....BUT for all that, I'm often run ragged and spend way too much time knowing that I ought to be in several places at once...

I have to choose, every day, where to use my time and my energy

Do I try to build up the life of the church, recognising that most of my core congregation are a long way from embracing mission as anything beyond an invitation to "come and see"?

Or do I do what I can to nurture the green shoots that may be emerging tentatively in the wider community?

Do I spend more time in school or in hospital visiting?

Perhaps, if we had world enough and time, those "C and E" attenders might get round to visiting a little more often. Once a month, and they'd find themselves chairing the PCC!

But in the meantime, I hope there will be a place with open doors, a place that they can visit in search of holiness, a place where, however loosely, they feel they belong.

I'm SURE that's what we're for...

Roads to travel

Iceland was fabulous, thank you....Unbelievably cold to one for whom temperatures of 3 degrees or lower spark a "Risk of ice" alert on the car....unbelievably expensive (a £21 pizza to take away, anybody?) but also, and mainly unbelievably beautiful.

Pictures and thoughts to follow soon but meanwhile, because my dear friend Songbird among others is wading through some pretty weighty discernments right now, and because as an ENFP the moment I have a decision made I start wondering about the road not travelled, it's time to post (almost certainly for the second or even the third time) my absolutely favourite Thomas Merton prayer

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

"Going public at both ends"

is the slightly infelictious way in which the Bishop suggested that we announce this morning that the period of scanning small ads and wondering (and worrying) is over for the Curate's family.

I spent Wednesday being interviewed by parish reps from Cainscross and Selsley and at tea-time that day the phone rang
"We'd love you to come..."
I'm still trying to sort out my thoughts and my feelings.
I loved the people whom I met on Wednesday and the little glimpse of the two parishes (which have been a "united benefice" for a while now) - and I'm bowled over by the brand-new vicarage.
(It has, praise the Lord, a fireplace - so, for my family, I'm onto a winner come what may!)
The two communities, one urban, one rural, are very different - and both have so much to offer, so many strengths to build on, so much potential to tap. But I'm very aware that there are challenges, both obvious and unimagined, ahead. When I left the interviews on Wednesday I said to Longsuffering Clockmaker
"I have no idea whether I'm up to the task, but I'd really love to work with those people...so we'll just have to see if God wants me there"
Given the final outcome of the interviews, I have to believe that God does, and that He will give me the gifts I need in order to love and serve those people for his sake.As Hattie Gandhi pointed out, twenty-five years after leaving university - I've finally got a responsible job!

I want to leave here well - to tie up as many ends as are mine to tie and to ensure a smooth transition for the Dufflepud, who is in the run-up to GCSEs next summer, so I'm hanging on in Charlton Kings until after Easter. I know that may look like malingering to my new congregations, who have had a year of vacancy (though their NSM Associate Priest, who trained with me, is a real treasure, and they could not be in better hands) - but with such an early Easter I could not in all honesty be ready to leave here before Lent began - and it seemed wrong to arrive for Easter without walking through Lent with these people.
So I have four months to prepare, to read, to plan, to pray.
Please pray too for the parishes of Cainscross and Selsley, and for the whole Good in Parts family as well. I'm so looking forward to discovering where God wants us all to go together.

Waiting on God

Yesterday my "thought for the day" from Henri Nouwen was entitled "Active Waiting"

Waiting is essential to the spiritual life. But waiting as a disciple of Jesus is not an empty waiting. It is a waiting with a promise in our hearts that makes already present what we are waiting for. We wait during Advent for the birth of Jesus. We wait after Easter for the coming of the Spirit, and after the ascension of Jesus we wait for his coming again in glory. We are always waiting, but it is a waiting in the conviction that we have already seen God's footsteps.

Waiting for God is an active, alert - yes, joyful - waiting. As we wait we remember him for whom we are waiting, and as we remember him we create a community ready to welcome him when he comes.


I’ve been reflecting alot on the process of waiting…of being wholly in the present moment because at the moment there’s nowhere else I can possibly look to…
I don’t know where I’ll be living, who I’ll be working with, what new frienships, delights and frustrations lie in wait for me in the next few months.
I can’t spend my time constantly teetering on the brink of farewell…that way madness lies.
So, for the moment my calling is to be fully here without worrying or wondering about what comes next.
Easy to write.
Doing it? Hmmn…not quite so good.

One of the liturgies in the first edition of the Iona Wee Worship Group included a response
“So thank you for the waiting time” – and in this thanksgiving week I’d love to be able to pray that with conviction.
But I’m a doer. I want to get on with the next thing (usually well before I’ve finished the one before – I have a zero score as “completer/finisher” on the Belbin tests) . Though I promise I don’t see the world, or even the C of E, as something to subdue, I can sympathise with Alexander the Great who reputedly wept when he discovered that there were “no worlds left to conquer” because I like the thought of new horizons, fresh outlooks…

Just too bad, really.
I’m not called to be adventurous.
I’m called to be faithful.
To live in the here and now because actually, here and now is all that I have.
This is where I must look for God and expect to find him.

"The meaning is in the waiting".

Not my will...

Another gem from that training day

Vocation is going from one place to another
In the direction God wants.

Vocation is responding to so many demands
Even if they demand a lot from you.

Vocation is knowing to be still in your inmost being
And listen to the voice in the depth of your hert.

Vocation is living the life of Him
Who is God’s Son, the Living Word.

Vocation is always wanting to choose Christ
So as never to lose Him.

Vocation is meeting Christ in your life
And letting Him speak through you.

Vocation is the strength of God in your life
Which never lets go of you,
Even if for a time
You see his light no more
You no longer understand his voice
And have to walk the road alone because of Him.

Vocation is giving sharing and breaking for distribution.

Vocation is giving love for love.

Vocation is dying, but dying in order to live.

Vocation is kneeling, praying and bowing down

Vocation is always being a witness to the Lord.

Vocation is walking the Lord’s way to the end of the road,
Through desert and death
Till we reach the eternal.

Put your life then in God’s hands
And know the He in Whom you trust
Loves you with an eternal love. Fr Gerard van der Ven

What to look for …part 3

One thing that has fascinated me as I’ve scanned the small ads in the Church Times week by week is how very little they actually say about the parish in real terms.
They probably give you a hint about the churchmanship of the place ("Bible based preacher" or "Parish Mass" )…and of course, about its geography, both physical and social.
They are keen to outline the qualities they are seeking in a new priest – a paragon that would put each and every member of the heavenly host to shame, if you believe all that you read.
(Interesting aside: I learned recently that when they scan the job ads, most women will only consider applying if they can tick 9 out of 10 boxes on the parish’s wish list, while men are contented with a more pragmatic 5 or 6).

Anyway, let it be known that all parishes want an archangel who is good with children and the elderly, and everyone in between, at ease with both traditional and modern worship, a gifted teacher and preacher with a huge pastoral heart, a capable organiser, a visionary, a born leader who is expert in change management…..and so it goes on. In the light of that, it is remarkable that any church ever finds a new priest at all.

So, you find yourself circling ads because you think that you might be able to work there…sending for further details for all sorts of jobs, both realistic and completely off the radar…hoping and praying that God will make it clear when the right job comes up.
I thought I might have found it when I read this ad – though the reality, after talking to friends in the know, is that I lacked the experience to undertake such a challenging role in a diocese where I have no contacts, where every single aspect of our lives would have changed.

But all the same, here’s a vision statement I would so love to run with. Just listen to this....

• People grow here because they are loved into believing all things are possible in them

• Because we live in a broken community we value each other because of who we are, not what we can do

• We want to reflect the light of Christ who embraces the poor, the destitute and the lonely

• We want the undesirables to come back to the place where they know they are wanted.

Perhaps God has put it on the heart of another church somewhere, the church that is waiting for me.

More about children

A long time ago, I posted a set of 10 Commandments for Church-going adults, which I'd purloined from my former vicar in Small Church in the Cotswolds...But over my desk for a couple of years now I've had a postcard produced by the URC with a Charter for Children in the Church. As I continue asking myself how best to provide for children in my ideal church (no point in even attempting to lead if I don't have some vision of where I might hope to go) they positively leapt off the page, so I share them with you

1.Children are equal partners with adults in the life of the church
2.The full diet of Christian worship is is for children as well as adults
3.Learning is for the whole church, adults as well as children
4.Fellowship is for all - each belonging meaningfully to the rest
5.Service is for children to give, as well as adults.
6.The call to evangelism comes to all God's people of whatever age.
7.The Holy Spirit speaks powerfully through children as well as adults
8.The discovery and development of gifts in children and adults is a key function of the church
9. As a church community we must learn to do only those things in separate age groups which we cannot in all conscience do together.
10. The concept of the Priesthood of all believers includes children.

I'm not sure whether I'm most excited about number 9 or number 10 - The others are pretty well part of my mental furniture, but I love the uncompromising directness "we must learn to do only things in separate age groups that we cannot in all conscience do together". Just beautiful.
I want to be part of a church like that.
Please

What to look for in the parish

When I was a small child, I had a series of Ladybird books which set out to be gently educational, and had wonderful illustrations by an artist called Tunnicliffe, whom I later discovered to have quite a serious reputation, beyond the world of children’s books.
They covered what to look for at each season of the year, at the seaside, in the country and even, if I remember rightly, in a country church.
I loved all the titles, and would always take them when my father and I set off to explore the countryside (a regular feature of my early years)
Right now, though I’m wishing they’d update the series to include a volume
“What to look for in your first parish”

As I try to prepare for the applications and interviews that lie ahead I’m trying really hard to determine not only what I might be able to bring to a church community, but what I need from a community if I’m to flourish there. I really want to remember the wisdom of the wonderful Claire that it’s very very easy for anyone applying for their first “responsibility post” to be so blown away when they are actually offered a job that they’ll say “Yes” to anything.
Sometimes, of course, this is fine – at others, the match is less happy – so it’s really essential to have your own "bottom lines" clear.
So in a bid to clarify my ideas, I thought a mini series of my own might help…

Nobody who reads here regularly will doubt that creative worship really matters to me. I value doing traditional liturgy as well as possible, but I also need room to dream and look sideways, to re-shape and dream some more. Sometimes, if things are particularly hectic, it’s only when preparing this sort of worship for others that I really manage to engage with God myself.
So, I want to be somewhere where this can happen.
I need to be somewhere where this can happen.
The question is,
Does worship create community or community create worship?
We may be fed by the alternative worship movement and long to engage with people beyond the borders of traditional church, but creative worship takes oceans of time and resources...which is kind of tough if there's only one person doing this. And it seems to me that one hallmark of emerging church is that it is a grass-roots phenomenon...aspiring to be a church without leadership, a community church. So if we're the only ones who get the vision, where does that leave us?
Specifically, where does this leave me, as Hugger Steward, my main alt worship ally in the past 3 years, will be off to uni in the autumn? And what questions should I ask to determine how far a church that claims to be interested in exploring “creative worship” actually wants to go?