In his comment on passing the Peace below Dave said "sometimes actions have to lead meanings" which set me off wondering how one balances this kind of aspirational behaviour with the need to be honest in our relationships. Could one call tooth-clenched peace-passing hypocrisy, if there is a deep mismatch between feelings and actions?
Certainly I tend to work on Dave's basis (as I've interpreted it...sorry if I read you wrong, Dave) in most things, and try madly to behave lovingly to those whom, frankly, I struggle to like. Sometimes this backfires massively as people assume that I'm their dearest friend and I then find myself taking panicky evasive action for months...but sometimes, though not often enough, it seems to work and to effect the change in me that I aspire to. One of the early Fathers wrote something like
"Not what thou art, nor what thou hast been, but what thou wouldst be beholdest God in his mercy" (prize to anyone who can tell me who and where...I just can't find it)
which would seem to suggest that if we want to live in love and peace with all, but aren't quite managing it on a daily basis, God will honour the intention. On the other hand, there's some rather uncomfortable stuff about whitewashed tombs about the place too. Oh heck. On the whole, perhaps it's just as well that I'm not in the parish this Sunday; perhaps I'll have resolved this before I next have to do any Peace-passing!