Birthday survival kit

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One of the joys of being me, here and now, is having friends who know so exactly what is needed to make me smile...S and the girls battled with road-works on a wet afternoon in half term to deliver a wonderful boxful of birthday booty...Gin, chocolate, pampering of all kinds, sparkly things, fair trade things... Aren't I a lucky woman?

I interrupt my unwelcome tidying to bring you this week's Unconscious Mutterings

with thanks, as usual, to Luna nina

1. Creepy ::crawly
2. Links :: unravelling
3. Sane :: Alex (are you reading this, Hugger Steward - the indoctrination is working)
4. Bun ::Chelsea
5. Visual ::Aid
6. Remote ::Control
7. Freaking ::Out
8. Curly ::tail
9. Saga ::Norse
10. Different ::Country

Now, in the absence of an alternative diversion, I guess I have to get on with the study floor...We are currently on seriously bad terms.

Unconscious mutterings

I have zillions of photos of Holy Week and a good few of our gentle cruise up the Avon, which I really would like to post soon. One day I may even find time for some real blogging again - but for now, because it's Sunday, here's another installment of the procrastinators' delight......

1. Habit ::bad
2. Relaunch ::company
3. Mondays :: I don't like
4. Bootstrap ::pull up by
5. Funk ::blue
6. Appreciate ::assets
7. Yay! ::done it! (with reference to three months of expenses - oh the shame!)
8. Life :: class
9. Sheets ::blank
10. Date night ::Friday

Unconscious Mutterings again

1. Philanthropy :: Quaker
2. Said :: sung
   
3. Blanks :: fired
4. Tapas :: olives
5. Orgasm :: chocolate
6. Movement :: symphony
7. Detention :: centre
8. Restaurant :: universe (at the end of)
9. Weird :: sisters
   
10. Sniffle :: cold

Displacement here we come!

I've just discovered the perfect game for those whose brains are in pieces as they contemplate the rigours of Holy Week
I encountered "Unconscious mutterings" via a twitter friend whose own blog name "Scatter Cushions" proclaims a being almost as divertable as I am myself. For a full explanation of the process see here but the idea is simple...first thoughts inspired by these words

1. Bow out ::retire
2. Relationships ::complex
3. Facebook ::status
4. Items ::missing
5. Ours ::not to reason why
6. Sting ::death (oh, I should get out more!)
7. Hangover :: no chance!
8. Contacts :: glasses
9. Lonely ::cloud
10. Seven days ::it'll all be over!

Into (small) silence

I spent the 24 hours that ended at 11.00 last night in total silence. Though it was a challenging experience, it was less horribly difficult than I'd imagined. 
When I arrived in school during Assembly, the Head described the day as an experience of resisting temptation for me - and in many ways he was right.

The first crunch came with my early tea, when I picked up the book I'd been saving for day-off reading, one of Susan Hill's Simon Serailler detective series, I was reduced to hysteria by its title, which I had quite forgotten. It was, really and truly, "The Vows of Silence" so I reached for my phone, anxious to share the delicious irony by twittering at once - but stopped in time!

Other times of trial included the moment when the Head launched us into the Lord's Prayer..."using the words Jesus taught us, we pray...".Instinct almost overwhelmed me - but not quite. I hated not being able to sing with the children, specially as they were making a really good job of "Colours of Day", but there were some really comic moments when I tried to help Y3 readers disentangle complicated words by sign language alone - though they were so pleased with themselves when they did work it out that this was as much joy as tribulation.

All in all, it wasn't as hard as I expected, though I found I didn't do as much as I'd normally have attempted on a day off. The prospect of negotiating Sainsbury's was way beyond me, and as for a foray to the picture framers with my Stations of the Cross, that will clearly have to wait til next week now...
Still, I've been hugely encouraged by the positive response both on-line and face to face and am looking forward to totting up the grand total in due course.
Thank you so much, all who've supported me financially, prayerfully or simply by NOT expecting me to answer the phone yesterday.

A blast from the past

Mostly for the benefit of Mary Beth, who has managed to get through life thus far without encountering the wonder that was the Citroen 2CV...designed to carry a basket of eggs and several hens across ploughed fields, and latterly for a multitude of sixties throw-backs...The car was almost inevitably decorated with CND or anti nuclear stickers, usually crammed with children, and always sounded like a weary lawn mower. But goodness, it was fun to drive. It barely HAD an engine (I knew of someone whose most prized possession was the speeding ticket that proved that his 2CV had actually managed to reach 75 mph...) but actually that didn't matter. It wasn't a car. It was a lifestyle!

The wonderful Dorothy McRae-McMahon once wrote (in "Liturgies for the Journey of Life") a creed that I love to use.

It begins
"The people of God have a human face.
...........
We lift our eyes and stub our toes"
I've just had an alarmingly forceful reminder of the truth of this, as the smiley peacefulness engendered by a wonderful morning's worship, a gentle afternoon doing happy things and a lovely dog walk in my favourite woods was obliterated just.like.that. as I confronted a piddling little 1st world problem entirely of my own creation.
Grrrrr.
Having had a thoroughly juvenile stamp and snarl session, I was recalled to better order by a lovely comment from a twittering friend...so I can continue with the rest of the affirmation of faith

"But God is God
and Jesus is the Christ
and the Spirit
will lift up our feet."

It's true, - so for the second time today "THANKS BE TO GOD"

Evidence...

of what I did on the Bank Holiday. Please note expanses of floor even quite close to the desk.
And behold, here is the desk itself, which is clearly made of wood...and look, there's my phone...I don't have to ring myself up to find it at the moment....And, unimaginable though it may seem,
there are flat surfaces all over the study which don't currently house trembling heaps of scary papers.
If a bereaved family appear tomorrow (which seems highly likely, given the run of funerals later this week) there's even a chance that they could (tell it not in Gath) Sit on the Sofa


So, though it may not qualify as a Grand Day Out, I'm immoderately delighted with the fruits of the Bank Holiday Monday here in the vicarage. That buzzing isn't a fault with your computer, it's the sound of the vicar's purr....

What shall I do to-day?

Currently a tad tearful as LongsufferingClockMaker has just taken Hugger Steward properly back to Cambridge, where he will stay til late June...Hattie Gandhi was only here for a flying Easter visit, as she is up to her elbows in dissertations & final essays, & the Dufflepud is away too, preparing for his summer trip to Africa.
But I don't want to waste the day. The question is - how to spend it?

I have 48 hours of holiday left & would normally rejoice in the prospect of a good long dog walk or a few hours working in the garden. Frustratingly, neither of these options is open to me. I can't manage 2 dogs on leads with only 1 reliable arm, & all the off-lead walks round here involve at least a short drive first...while the garden is so far from even existing as yet that there is nothing I can do without a few hours of solid digging & a trip to the garden centre too.
I'm reluctant to simply use the day to clear remaining debris from the study & feel the need to do more than sit read.
Any bright ideas for a project suitable for a one-armed extrovert with empty nest syndrome?
I'd really love to do something positive with the day.

Time out

This has been a blissful week. After all the manic preparations for Candlemas and the Bishop (which sounds as if it might make quite a good book) I'd hoped for a gentler few days, but hadn't been expecting quite how generously those hopes would be satisfied.
Snow fell on Monday, - just enough to make things look pretty, but not to disrupt seriously, so that I was able to make it to Frampton-on-Severn where a new colleague was being licensed...From then on,things became progressively more exciting though as the BBC grew ever more hysterical about conditions elsewhere, we began to wonder if we were being sidelined completely.
The Dufflepud kept on going in to school - and kept on being sent home, as staff failed to cope with the drive from outlying areas...I took the unexpected step of cancelling the Eucharist on Wednesday morning, once I realised that the pavements were completely lethal and the likeliest result of going ahead would have been a crop of broken hips among the mostly elderly midweek congregation. I'm still pondering how I feel about this - and about my obedience to the rule that tells me that I cannot preside if I'm the only one present.
As Fr Simon pointed out, I'm always in the company of angels, archangels and all the heavenly host...I need to do some more thinking here, clearly.
Meanwhile, meetings were being cancelled in all directions and yesterday at last we woke up to enough snow to confirm that school was closed.
I achieved various bits of administrivia, had an exciting time planning the PCC day with our diocesan missioner (goodness, that man can pray - what a gift to be with him as he does so!) but generally it has been a time to rejoice in the company of my son and my animals, in evenings by the fireside and the beauty of a world turned white. A bit of enforced hibernation was exactly what I needed. Can you hear me purr?

Let's be shallow

I'm still hoping/planning to post some reflections from last week's Chapter residential, but in the meantime I've been tagged so often for the 25 random things meme that it was getting embarassing, so as the snowflakes dance outside the vicarage window, here we go... (cross posted at FB - don't we live in an entangled world?)

I suspect that almost 25 tags for this bear my name. Being naturally obedient I actually wrote a list after the first couple of people tagged me but being technicially inept, when I thought it was safely posted lo - there it was gone. So, here we go again ...an even more random list because I can't remember which bits of randomness I offered originally. I have completely lost track of who has already played...so just join in if you feel so inclined

1. I'm the only child of two only children married to a man with a large family, whose intricacies are minutely catalogued by my m-i-l...Nobody is ever "a cousin"...they are a third cousin four times removed and frankly I just don't get it!

2. I grew up by the sea, and feel the weather is wasted whenever there is a good storm in this strangely land-locked county. I so miss spray in my face...

3. When I was off school with flu at the age of 10 I taught myself to play the whole of Handel's Water Music on the recorder by playing along to the LP.

4. That was one of the first LPs I owned...The first was Vivaldi's Four Seasons, then daringly novel as it had recently been rediscovered by popular audiences. I still feel sad when I meet it as "call waiting" music.

5. I'm an adequate pianist, a bad cellist but quite a reasonable singer...I funded my own wedding largely by singing at other peoples' (thanks to the joys of the Greater London Choral Circuit!)

6. My first pet was an English Springer Spaniel named Robin, who arrived on my 6th birthday.

7. The 10 years between my father's death and our move from London to Gloucestershire were the only dogless time in my life: I hated it - my home is not properly a home without a dog in it.

8. This laptop is named Serafina Peccala - but I have yet to teach it to say "Norrrrrrway"

9. It took me 18 years to learn to like tea and coffee, nearly 30 to enjoy olives - but I've made up for that ever since.

10. I love extreme weather (or what passes for that here in the UK at least)...Torrential rain, blizzards (like the one I'm enjoying at the moment), howling gales, heatwaves, they all give me huge pleasure.

11.I love the theory of meeting new people but struggle with the reality as I never feel I have anything interesting to say. I suspect I'm a shy extrovert.

12. On the other hand, while we're talking Myers Briggs, my "F" and "I" functions are so strong they are pretty much off the scale.

13. This can make daily life with my ISTJ husband distinctly challenging.

14. My daughter is named after one of my best friends from childhood, the heroine of Ruth Sawyer's "Roller Skates". If I'd been allowed, I would have loved to call a daughter "Linnet" in honour of the "Green Knowe" books - but actually, her name suits Hattie Gandhi just fine.

(Please note...this is the wrong edition! It should be illustrated by Shirley Hughes. And I'd never realised till searching for the proper picture to post here how very much this matters with books one has loved as intimate friends in childhood. So that's blogger bonus random thing number 14.5)

15. I love the idea of being tidy and organised and always feel better if it is achieved - but find it well nigh impossible.

16. I had never travelled outside Europe till 2007, when I went to India. I think that has started something.

17. I have an only-slightly-secret longing for a tattoo on my foot. I wanted to get it when I was ordained priest and fear I may now have missed the moment.

18. I have been the happy owner of two Citroen 2CVs - Daisy & Skippy. They remain my favourite car and the day that I had to swap Skippy for something that started reliably was the day when I finally had to admit that I might be grown-up. I was 40 at the time :-(

19. I'm still 12 really though.

20. My two eldest children are older now than I was when my parents died. I find this really strange to contemplate.

21.One of the most amazing evenings of my life involved singing Bach's B Minor Mass in the chapel of Kings College, Cambridge.

22. I have inherited my mother's creative approach to elements of spoken English. Both "Heavenly caterpillars" and "Christmas daisies" are a regular response to being startled in these parts.

23. Apart from vicaring, my favourite job was bookselling at Hatchards in Piccadily.

24. In the pre-Christmas rush there, I once asked Princess Anne how she spelled her name.

25. Sloth is definitely my besetting example of the Seven Deadlies...I could sit here with duvet cat and laptop contemplating the blizzard all day, with deep contentment.

The last boxes

are either unpacked, or safely hidden away until the next move, and yesterday we invited the parishes to tea...
We're the first people to live in the new vicarage, and the demolition of its predecessor caused considerable sadness particularly in the parish in the valley, so it matters that everyone really knows and believes that they are welcome here, whenever they need or want to come. Yesterday they came in droves, all afternoon and I was unutterably thankful for the wonderful ladies who had correctly predicted that we maybe couldn't manage without help, and kept all comers supplied with tea.
The Dufflepud did sterling work on guided tours and it was, it has to be said, rather lovely to have the house tidy enough not to dread certain doors being opened. Below lies the proof...it won't ever look this good again (and please note that my desk remains its usual bombed out self, even amid the prevailing order!)

The afternoon was actually great fun, albeit exhausting - which led to a stupid ending to the day.Too shattered to drive, I came home from returning the church crockery to the hall via a close encounter with the vicarage gate-post. Dents and scratches are the consequence.Drat!


Two views of the sitting room (neither of which really shows you how good the curtains look - but believe me, they are worth every penny)










Here's the kitchen...
Ironic that when we actually lived in a farmhouse, we had nothing like this kind of large warm living space - but now, in a brand new vicarage, we have a rather wonderful "farmhouse kitchen" where animals, books and ironing piles co-exist happily with assorted Flemings - and I can shut the door and protect the parish from the reality of our mess and muddle. Thanks be to God!

Bullet points of light relief

• Life just got easier for this family on the move -Hugger Steward passed his driving test today, and has thrown his L plates away joyfully. Given the scheduling of the next few days, I am every bit as delighted as he is, even if it does mean that I never get to drive my own car again!
  

• E. our youngest First Communicant, has been at it again...her mum found a list of "people I like" lurking about the place...among school friends and family lurked "Geezus". I rather think he likes E too

• Conversation during a rather lovely party on Saturday night Random Party Goer "So, how are you" Curate "Rather manic actually...I'm moving house and moving jobs in a week's time and tomorrow the busiest week of the year begins" RPG "Oh, you must be a tax lawyer"
  

Bother !

Those New Year intentions of mine aren't doing too well today...Here I am blogging between the hours of Morning and Evening Prayer, the rain is coming down in torrents so I don't see the dogs getting walked any time soon, and I'm busily not doing my end of last year expenses. Grrr.
In an effort to prevent myself from doing anything that might be remotely constructive, I wandered over to Dave Walker's wonderful Cartoon Blog where he has a post appealing for suggestions, real or imagined, of the things that clergy carry about their persons.
There are some entertaining ideas in the comments - and it made me ponder the essential contents of my own bag (or, in happier times, bike basket. The Duffeplud gave me a wonderful example of this species for Christmas, which simply hooks over the handlebars, so that I can have it sitting beside my desk in the study and drop things into it as I realise I might need them later - thankfully the basket was sitting right there when the bike was pinched so it's not gone as well)
So a list of the USEFUL contents of my bag (less than 50% of the actual contents, of course....time to weed again) looks a little like this

• Church book and desk diary - stuffed with essential bits of paper that I'll lose any day now

• Pens

• Mobile phone (which will be buried in the deepest recess, so that I only reach it as it stops ringing. Always. Without fail.)
  

• Book of Pastoral Prayers (includes such diverse liturgies as house blessing and marking the end of a relationship..)

• Keys - Church, Hall and Home

• Headache pills

• Brush/comb

• Small wooden bear to entertain miserable toddlers

• (If I DONT need them) Visiting cards

• Purse (usually empty of anything that might help to pay for parking)

• Post it notes (stuck to interior of bag and thus incapable of sticking to anything else)

• NRSV New Testament & Psalms (the copy I was given by the Bishop during my diaconal ordination)

• RevGals "That'll blog" notebook, as sent to me by Songbird

• (Not often enough) Camera (though current phone isn't bad at photography, so this is less vital than it used to be)

• Memory stick

I would like it to contain an oil stock, but I don't currently own one, and it ought probably to contain the sick-call stole that lives in my home Communion set....Tissues would also be an improvement on the current yards of loo paper that lurk in the depths- try offering that to a distressed parishioner with any sense of dignified compassion, eh!

This may well come into the TMI category - but I'd love to hear what you keep in your essential kit...and any entertaining additions that you feel might really boost my ministry! No point in mentioning chocolate - it wouldn't stand a chance.

Not exactly resolutions

As someone with negative "Completer/Finisher" ratings on Belbin, I've never done particularly well with New Year resolutions...When I was a child, my father used to advise me to "Aim for the stars and you might hit the mountain tops". I've embraced the "aim for the stars" part just fine through the years, regularly setting myself ridiculously high standards, and resolving to achieve at the very least six impossible things before breakfast, but I have tended to assume that anything less than a stellar success rate was grounds for early despair...
Not the stuff of which successful New Year resolvers are made, in short.
However, wandering around the internet on this last day of my holidays, I've been struck by how many wise and sensible approaches to the whole "new year, new start" thing there are. OK, so I've never got anywhere before, but I've also never made my hopes or intentions public - and I'm wondering if a measure of accountability to my friends may help to sustain my resolve, particularly if I am at least slightly realistic in my ambitions.

So - I have three things in my sights as 2008 begins (in no particular order)

1. To take the dogs out for at least some sort of walk myself every. single. day. The dogs need it - and I probably need it even more, as cycling round the parish never seems to be enough to encourage anything like fitness (and when I move, I suspect that cycling may actually become harder too)
   
2. To restrict on-line playtime to before Morning Prayer and after Evening Prayer only from Monday to Friday (day off excepted). The possibilities of infinite diversion are just too great, and a day of non achievement sends me grumpy to bed!
   
3. (The biggie) To do things on time - maybe to set myself artificial deadlines if that's what it takes to get stuff done (yes, even expenses) (I do recognise the irony of posting this on the second day of the New Year - but Rome wasn't built in a day, so I'm not going to get picky!)
   

Thus far, I've managed with number 1, and I don't return to work till tomorrow so numbers 2 & 3 have yet to become issues. Wish me luck, blogmates

Big Spender!

Baby Car isn't the only one whose New Year's Day behaviour really mustn't become a habit.
I had a very exciting day myself - but it was rather expensive.
You see, I finally managed to book the flights (not too costly thanks to some saved air miles) and pay the rest of the money due for the RevGals Big Event. I can't quite believe that I'm going to America for the very first time but for only one week. If that's not mad enough,the week concerned happens to be in the brief gap between leaving St M's and arriving in my new parishes....the week when we're moving house, in fact. Yes, that week!
But if not now, then, I suspect, never...and the opportunity to meet irl so many online friends, to be part of that supportive community immediately before a new chapter in ministry begins for me, and to learn, I'm sure, from the official sessions as well as from just being together is simply unmissable.

So - out came my credit card.

And, while I was at it, Hugger Steward and I finally settled on my new laptop.
The quest to avoid Vista meant that we had fewer options - but opinion seems unanimous that XP is a much safer system (even the man in Generally Clueless Computer Shop agreed, despite the fact that this radically reduced his chances of selling us a computer) and we found something that meets all my needs (apart from being a Mac, that is....) that came in at £1.28 below my budget!
I've told Hugger Steward he can keep the change as commission - and am locking up my credit card for the rest of the month.

I'm hoping

that beloved Baby Car has not started the New Year as it means to go on. I had to abandon the drive to take Hugger Steward to his New Year's Eve festivities after the car cut out completely and refused to start...Of course, once reinforcements had arrived in the shape of Longsuffering Clockmaker, the car behaved beautifully allll the way home (LCM took HS to the party, so that was OK too)...but this morning Baby Car had the vapours all over again as I drove to collect him. However, with a couple of rests we managed the journey there and back safely and I'm just sooo glad that I lent my car to Hattie G. The thought of a carload of students stuck on a dark road somewhere on New Year's Eve is scarcely a reassuring topic for maternal contemplation - but as it is, she phoned just after midnight full of joy, while we too had an excellent evening, that featured good friends AND a chocolate fountain.
With that in mind, tis as well that my most achievable resolution involves daily exercise for both dogs and curate....though I can't see my joining the ranks of those who set out first thing this morning to jog round the village in shiney new trainers any time soon.

My phone and my in-box are full of New Year messages from many directions, all so much appreciated...but I particularly like this, from friends in India. Nobody could argue with the sentiments, - and the expression of them is rather charming too I think. So, by way of a New Year card to all of you
"May this year fill you with all the joy and peaces to reflesh your soul and God give you the strenght to perserve in all that 2008 has in store for you"...

or, if you prefer it straight

Preparation preparation - an Advent Friday Five

Sally has had a difficult week, which has made her pause for thought in much the same way that my Indian experience last year made me stop and think before leaping headlong into the seasonal rush...
So her Friday Five is devoted to a topic I guess I barely understand - being prepared

1. You have a busy week, pushing out all time for preparing worship/ Sunday School lessons/ being ready for an important meeting ( or whatever equivalent your profession demands)- how do you cope?
If I don't have too much on, the chances are that I'll procrastinate until I'm under that sort of pressure anyway. Its fatal if I don't have too much on...This week, because most of the pressure is longer term, I feel that I've achieved basically nothing. Grrrr

2. You have unexpected visitors, and need to provide them with a meal- what do you do?
Seafood pasta. Frozen seafood. Jar of pasta sauce souped up with a glass of wine and a few tons of garlic. Creme fraiche if I've got any. Works every time, specially if we drink the rest of the bottle while the pasta cooks.
Send a child out to the late shop for salad, fruit and choccies...BINGO

Three discussion topics:

3. Thinking along the lines of this weeks advent theme; repentance is an important but often neglected aspect of advent preparations.....I'm mostly penitent that I've not even begun to engage with the themes...

4. Some of the best experiences in life occur when you simply go with the flow.....Absolutely. Couldn't agree more...In fact, I wasn't absolutely sure that there was any alternative direction.
Is there really??

5. Details are everything, attention to the small things enables a plan to roll forward smoothly...
You what?? Details? Are those the little bumpy things that roll around on the floor and sometimes trip me up...a bit like buttons but different? Hmnn....No. I don't do those.

Bonus if you dare- how well prepared are you for Christmas this year?
Christmas....being on what date exactly? Twenty fifth of what????
No.
That can't be right.
I'll just carry on like this and have it in March, OK?
I did, in all honesty, order a couple of presents last night...but that's more or less it. Cards for 150? Services for rather more? Not so's you notice.
You see, with 2 weeks to go there's not nearly enough pressure to get me really focussed.
Got to keep on blogging onwards...

A thing of shreds and patches

Back in the summer holidays (an unimaginably long time ago on this bleak December day) I posted a picture of our sitting-room covered in a heap of bright colours as HG and her friends worked on a patchwork for her student room. I promised photos of the finished article, but have only recently sorted out the bluetooth that allows me to upload phone pictures to the computer...so finally, here is the girl in her glorious nest - blandness fully transformed.

As the new vicarage has been decorated (and carpetted - how wonderful is that!!) in totally safe and neutral magnolia, I rather think I'll be needing ways to bring some extra colour into the rooms there myself. Hattie Gandhi, however, is quite clear that she isn't about to create further patchworks any time soon. I think that starting with a double quilt may have been just a shade ambitious. It's a shame. I fancy a patchwork throw just like hers, but different, for the sofa in the study! Such a good conversation piece -
"That blue fabric there is the curtain the dog ate...Oh, and there's a leper's costume from Jesus Christ Superstar".
On reflection, it might be a route to Too Much Information for unsuspecting visitors, who may be reassured by the calm of magnolia - especially when off-set by the joys of the fireplace to come....
In any case, it's quite rare to be able to see the sofa in here for the junk piled upon it.
I did say something earlier about doing some tidying...After all, it is my day off!