Thursday, February 26, 2009

Exercises in letting go 1

Enforced disciplines are no easier to assimilate with profit, & there is clearly going to have to be a whole heap of negotiations between the Kathryn who is in love with her jobb& had determined that her parishes should have a really stunning Lent & Holy Week in compensation for not arriving til post Easter last year, & the fuddled, weary creature who knows full well that at the moment she can manage one sensible thing per day, after which energy runs out just.like.that...
I'm trying, really I am, but it's not going to be easy.

Yesterday evening featured a few bits of domestic stress that felt specially huge because I knew there was nothing I could do at all to make things better
. This in turn led to the worst night I've yet spent in my encampment on the sitting room sofa, which meant extra meds at 4am, which meant a woozy Kathryn waking with under an hour to dress & get to church.
in normal circumstances, I wouldnt need even twenty minutes but now??
Just not possible.

So, in a brief triumph of maturity over just about every instinct I possess, I phoned M, my lovely Reader colleague, & asked her to save the day.
Of course she agreed & as far as I can determine nobody died, left the church, or probably even turned a hair. It was quite OK without me. And then my phone bleeped to remind me that I'm receiving a daily text through Lent from blessed (you can find them on twitter too)

Here is today's

Frantic race 4 school? Stuck in traffic? In this busyness God has time for you. Make time for him..

So this Lent for me will be less about the developing relationship of priest & parish that I had intended & expected - and instead about the core relationship which brought me here in the first place.
It's all about Father & daughter

2 comments:

Stephanie Anthony/She Rev said...

Thanks Kathryn for your hug! It may not feel so bad in the future, but I can admit it was a pretty big flop. OK very big. It was, without being dramatic. What is good is the rebuilding that is already taking place primarily in the relationship with the husband, but hopefully at some point also with the wife. Thanks!!!

(Also, love this piece. I'm thinking about relationships this Lent, too, in a slightly different way, but it will help me to think about them all in relation to the Father/daughter relationship as you mentioned. Thanks!)

Sue said...

This is a lovely post. I'm so sorry about your arm and all the accompanying frustrations that go along with any injury. Be good to yourself, 'kay?

(((Kathryn)))