Sunday, July 15, 2007

Learning my limitations..

It having been Sunday allll day, it's no surprise that I've been on the busy side.
I don't want this to read as a "pity poor martyred me" post -I've just been interested to watch myself through these last 2 weeks. What surprised me today was just how tired I was by 4.00 this afternoon, when I'd normally reckon to keep going without any trouble till at least part way through Koinonia, a good 5 hours later.
However, the differences today were that after presiding at 8.00, I preached and presided at 10.00 (it's normally one or t'other) and conducted a wedding at 1.30, before a couple of needful and quite intense hospital visits.

I think it was probably the wedding that was the decisive factor - they are quite high stress anyway, and I didn't know the couple particularly well, as they'd been hard to pin down for preparation, living and working away from the parish (though the bride's parental home is here). Everything went fine, but it just is harder work to make everyone feel special when you don't have a relationship with those involved.

Anyway, by the time I got home from the hospital it was pretty obvious that I'd be wasting my time finding a book to curl up with...so the dogs and I had a lovely sleep on the sofa, waking up to the sight of delightful Jonny Depp in Capt Jack Sparrow mode, which made me feel substantially better instantly. As a result (whether of Depp or the sleep) Evensong was fine, and I could have happily managed Koinonia if we'd not ended the term for both youth groups last night...but the learning point for the future is, I think, to resist Sunday weddings if at all possible. I know that couples are struggling to get their chosen reception venue sorted, and I know too that it matters hugely for the church to be welcoming and accomodating - but Sunday is quite demanding of most people involved in worship, so a little reticence in booking weddings then seems not unreasonable. What do you think?

15 comments:

marcella said...

I was surprised at the announcement of a Sunday wedding. It'd never 'ave 'appened in the old days. As long as you got their names right I'm sure they'll have been fine with it, and even if you didn't we were praying for ALL those who were getting married in the near future.

Kathryn said...

Yes, that was quite a moment this morning! Apparently the only wedding that J has conducted that Neil had played for, he announced You are now Mr & Mrs Brown, when they weren't at all...which was potentially disturbing!

Songbird said...

I suppose under those circumstances "Man and Wife" would have been preferable.

David Shedden said...

I think that if people want to get married in a church building they should get married during a 'normal' service. All other things being equal, every Christian marriage should be on a Sunday!

Caroline said...

I think I'm exhausted jsut reading about what you have done today! Hugs to you.

Sally said...

Good advice Kathyrn I am making a mental note- avoid Sunday weddings !!!
Prayers for a good nights sleep for you :-)

Serena said...

Whew! Who wouldn't be tired. I tried to link to your sermon from RGBP and couldn't get the page ... could you let me know how to get there direct, 'cause I'd love to read it. Thanks

maggi said...

plenty of churches I know of won't do Sunday weddings, not only because of the old tradition, but because it makes impossible demands upon the clergy.
All the same, this doesn't necessarily solve the problem - I served my title in a 7-church team where, after 3 morning services each, to cover all 7 between us, we would then have entire Sunday afternoons of baptism services before the evening service, after which (because I was the Curate) 14 or so teenagers would descend on my house for youth group. Making a 15-hour day in all. And because we didn't do weddings on Sundays, we would often do 4 or even 5 on the Saturday (one or two each). Something is wrong in that equation.

Caroline Too said...

I guess that my question would be about whether marriages and baptisms are the best way of making the church welcoming and available to the community around us.

I suspect you'll reply that it's the sacremental issue that's powerful, but I'm not convinced and I wonder if sometimes we, as a wider community, hide behind the clergy doing these services and avoid doing the hard work of being an available community.

Mary Beth said...

David S is definitely on to something!

My DH and I were not members of a church (not able to agree on one) when we married.

Now that we do agree on one...I am going to ask him, as a 10th anniversary gift to ask to have our marriage blessed during a regular Sunday service. There's a rubric for it in the BCP. There's something about having that done with our faith community that is very appealing, now that we have found them.

Sunday weddings otherwise!? Gah! Sounds horrible!

And, Kathryn dear, did you know that your profile says that your age is 251? I'm just saying.

:)

Kathryn said...

Mary Beth, - I must have been feeling uncharacteristically youthful when I registered with blogger...Actually, of course, I'm 312!

Danny said...

I am full of admiration... I only did 2 morning services yesterday and I was wrecked by 1pm... Personally I don't think I would 'take' a Sunday wedding unless it was for church member(s) who wanted to celebrate with their church family as well as their biological ones!!

Grace thing said...

Just wanted to say hello, Kathryn. I've been horribly out of touch and I've enjoyed reading your last few posts. I hope that today, being Monday, gave you some much needed rest. Phew!

Dr Moose said...

It's been a while since I've done a Sunday wedding - I was in my title post, and I think I only did a couple. One of them was memorable simply because we'd decided to go out for Sunday Lunch. Everything went swimmingly until we'd ordered pudding, when from nowhere the pub just filled up to capacity. It left me with a very tight turn around time, and a very hot wedding as the pulse soared as the final cup of coffee kicked in!

Now something I've met and use here every so often which I hadn't before is Saturday Baptisms...

Tom said...

Sunday weddings are OK as long as there is more than one of you and not all the other things as well. My classic was in 2006 when I was asked for one on Christmas day cos all the family would be here - brides mother got fairly stroppy when I said no, - sadly the wedding did not go ahead anyway.

Reminds me of one my illustrious predecessors who thought that things like baptisms needed "organising" so they were done on Easter morning and Christmas morning only - over 100 on one occasion! There are no records of how but ancient village rumour has it that you formed a line and as you approached the font its was "childs name?" quick dunk and cross on the forehead ! Don't if they dared question the Vicar in those days!!