And I'm not paranoid!
After the nightmare situation last time I preached at Evensong, Hugger Steward took my printer to pieces, swore at it comprehensively in a variety of languages and generally showed it the error of its ways, and as a result it has behaved perfectly for a month now.
But this evening, having finished my sermon for tomorrow evening I thought I'd get ahead of the game and print it before bed - only to have the printer eat several sheets or paper, jam some more and smudge the rest.
It hates me, I tell you...and I'm going to bed.
Exorcism of printer scheduled for tomorrow.
Edit; Joy cometh in the morning - the printer has printed, and the sermon (every single page of it) is happily ensconced in my preaching folder. Now all I have to do is deliver the thing....