I really enjoyed only-child status, as I got on happily with adults, was allowed the space and time I needed to read and read and read some more, and always got to choose the pudding! Latterly, though, I've been aware of a few down-sides (beyond the obvious one of finding myself abruptly abandoned at 18, which, despite what you'd imagine, truly wasn't that bad). One of these is the need I have to do everything (if there's only you, and you don't do something, then nobody does), which manifests itself not so much as an urge to have fingers in every parish pie as in a feeling of most unreasonable disappointment when I have to miss out on a chance I've been offered. So it is that, with the excitement of the India trip getting more real every day (did I tell you that my e ticket has arrived in my in box?) I am wasting time and energy feeling thoroughly upset because while I'm away the other curates will have an overnight training session on healing ministry.
I'm grumpy about this for several reasons...
- When asked for suggestions for training events next year, healing ministry was something I begged for
- There have actually been requests that we hold the odd healing service at St M's, - which is so miraculously counter to their customary approach ( "God is dangerous and only to be approached when duly protected by the utmost liturgical formality" ) that I feel the interest can only be a direct response to the Holy Spirit....so I want to start something asap, but have less than no experience
- Though there is a diocesan day on healing planned for February, we have yet another curate training CME day (with the utterly wonderful David Hoyle, so I can't even really resent this) scheduled to clash with this.
- (Very ignoble) It's being held at a retreat house I've not yet visited, and wanted to investigate.
But the "do it all" only child is still sulking big time because she can't actually have her cake and eat it this time,- and knowing that I'm being silly isn't helping at all. Grrrr.